Joanie's in the Garden

Thought-filled Thursdays...

2012-01-26T17:48:00.000-08:00

Last night, I told my husband that I really had no idea what I was going to share in today's post. I really didn't. Of course, I've had lots of ideas rolling about in my brain ~ but nothing that I felt "Aha! That's it!" Until this morning...

Learn and Grow + Letting Go.

They are simple words. Seemingly harmless. Nothing in these words indicates any sort of major upheaval in one's life, nothing out of the ordinary, not even a hint that one should really be on guard because these little words are going to wash over your life like a tidal wave. Too late. The current has swept me off my feet and I'm trying to stay afloat...

I didn't know that on January 3rd, I would be saying goodbye to a very dear and precious neighbor. At a family Christmas Eve gathering, a family member unknowingly spread a virus to everyone there. Within 24 hours, Bernie became ill. He struggled with the illness for more than a week and on January 4th, he called one of his daughters and told her he was in trouble. Several hours later, he suffered the first of several strokes. And, on January 21st, he passed from this world to a better one.

Bernie was 88 years old and had lived in the neighborhood for 65 years. He did have a lung problem and often labored with his breathing, but truly nothing seemed to stop him from doing everything he wanted to do. He was joy and sunshine in my life; living in this neighborhood. A neighborhood I would NOT have chosen to live in. For as long as I can remember, I've dreamed of living out in the country on a few acres ~ you know ~ living off the land! Ask our children. Ask my husband. They've heard about it their whole lives.

5 years ago, God plopped (I mean "planted") us in a working class neighborhood, in a city that doesn't have the best reputation in our region, in a post-war quick build area, just off a busy boulevard, with a higher rate of crime than some areas around us, surrounded by a people group that I, honestly, would rather not live near, we purchased at the top of the market and are now "under" in our house and to top it off ~ we're on the liberal side of Washington state. REALLY?

Now, you're thinking, "Well, here she goes again... whining to commence." No whining, just observations and sharing from my heart. Hopefully, you'll keep reading.

There are challenges to living in this neighborhood. But, don't most neighborhoods have some kind of challenge to deal with that you'd rather not? Yes, we thought it "ideal" to live just across from a small city park, but we've discovered reality is something quite different. Many people who visit the park don't care anything about anyone else nor cleaning up after themselves. And, there are neighbors who think only of themselves and don't care if their actions bother you or not. Others have themselves completely cut off from everyone else ~ "if I don't know you, you won't bother me." We are in close proximity to SeaTac airport and there are days (and sometimes many days) where the airplane noise and rumble are utterly irritating (it wasn't like this when we moved here). And yet, I could be describing any neighborhood...

That said, our neighborhood is also a lovely place filled with many lovely people. Some have lived here for many, many years (50 or more), some live in the "family" house (you know ~ grandma and grandpa's house), some are newer to the neighborhood (like us) and some are renters. It's the connection to people that fills me with joy and keeps me going when I really want to flee to a different place. Because I walk Coco and work in our garden often, I've met a lot of people walking through the neighborhood or walking their own dog. In addition, delivering goodies to our neighborhood on St. Nicholas' Day each year has also enabled us to meet neighbors that don't walk by. The older people in our neighborhood are my favorites! They love to visit, are happy to see you, share stories and are pleasant people to live by. But, the reality is that they are getting older and, eventually, they will all pass away. The people I see regularly will not always be here. Bernie was an extra-special neighbor and we visited often. We were quite fond of each other. Truth-be-told, we loved each other dearly. And now, he's gone. Healed and settling into his eternal home while I remain here. In this neighborhood. And, I am crying out to God (louder than usual) to PLEASE get us out of here soon and very soon!

We have a challenging relationship with our next-door neighbors and the neighbors behind us. And, we are "different". Back in the day, we would have fit in with everyone else ~ but in today's culture in this working class neighborhood, we are different. We're building an urban farm. We're putting chickens in our backyard. We're tearing out all the grass on our property and raising a lot of fruits and vegetables. Common occurrence in many neighborhoods, but not in ours. Not yet anyway. So, we are different. I find it very easy to connect to our "older" neighbors and they gladly share about their large gardens, canning, chickens... of "yesterday" and live a little through our current efforts, which we love sharing with them too. We share a common bond. They encourage me and keep me going when things are challenging all around me.

2012 is my year to Learn and Grow and to Let Go. I just didn't realize it would be happening as quickly as it is nor to the degree it has already occurred. Tears come quickly today and my heart is grieving the loss of a precious man in my life, but I also know that God is at work all around me and He's asked me to step into His story. What if He won't answer the CRY of my heart ~ to escape city living and settle into the countryside? When, Lord? When?

And today, came a reply. Not a 2x4 kind of answer, but a gentle bullseye to my heart... Yes, I was reading my morning devotional:

Praying with Tears

"During His earthly life, He offered prayers and appeals with loud cries and tears to the One who was able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His reverence." Hebrews 5:7

The life of Jesus provides the model for our prayer lives. God is seeking to mold us into the image of His Son (Col. 1:27-28). If we are to act like Christ, our prayer lives must be conformed to His. Many Christians are unwilling to pay the price that Jesus paid when it comes to interceding with God. Jesus' prayers came with vehement cries and tears and, "because of His godly fear," He was heard by the Father.

Why, then, did the Father refuse His request? It was not due to any sin in Jesus' life, nor was it because the Father did not love His Son. The Father said no, despite the unfathomable love He has for His Son, because He knew He could not spare His Son and save a world. Likewise, the Lord cannot always spare you and your family and complete His redemptive work in those around you.

Are you willing for God to deny your pleadings? Will you intercede with the Father so deeply and intimately that evening the midst of your tears you are able to say, "Nevertheless, not my will but thine be done?" The Father will always relate to you out of the context of His love for a lost world. Has God said no to one of your requests recently? Accept His answer. Have you been learning obedience through what you have been suffering (Hebrews 5:8)? If you have, God may choose to make you a source of salvation to others even as He did with His Son.

I have cried out to God countless times for others, for situations, for freedom from city living and His provision to finally realize my lifelong dream. Today, He once again puts before me a choice ~ willingness to be obedient and follow Him or go my own way. Once again, I reply... "Nevertheless, not my will by thine be done." Yes, here. In THIS neighborhood.

I have given my life over to Him and even though I struggle in humanness ~ in the end, I choose His path. In Learning and Growing and Letting Go, He is already revealing that this year will not look anything like what I could have thought or imagined. Unexpected things are occurring in the first 26 days of this New Year. We shall see where His path leads as His will is done in and through my life! Won't you consider allowing Him to do the same in yours?

May abundant blessings fill your days. May you see God at work in and through your life. I look forward to sharing next Thursday whatever God lays on my heart as I pause to ponder and reflect in a busy world...

Thought-filled Thursdays

2012-01-19T21:21:00.000-08:00

Well, another Thursday has arrived and I have been "chewing" on the subject God brought to my attention for this week's post. In fact, I came across today's focus last Thursday after I had posted. I sat down at the kitchen table to eat breakfast, opened my devotional and began reading... Bam! Hit with another 2x4!

The Key to God's Redemptive Mission

"May they all be one, as You, Father, are in Me and I in You. May they also be One in Us, so the world may believe You and Me." John 17:21

God often speaks of human relationships as a part of His mission to redeem a lost world (John 13:20; Matt 25:40). One reason He gives for a husband and wife to live in unity is so they can produce a "godly seed," that is, children who love and obey God, who can be used in God's mission to bring redemption to a lost world (Malachi 2:14-15). Similarly, the church is the body of Christ. A church cannot be on mission with the Father in our world if its members are waging war with one another (I Corinthians 12:12). There is a crucial connection between our relationships with others and the salvation of those around us.

We might assume that during Jesus' prayer before His crucifixion, He would have prayed that His disciples would have courage, or would remain faithful, or would remember what they had been taught. Yet He asked that His followers would remain united in their love for one another. Jesus understood that it is spiritually impossible to love God but not love others.

A test of your love for God is to examine your love for others. Our tendency is to say, "Heavenly Father, the problem is not between You and me. I love You with all my heart. I just don't love my brother." And God says, "That is an impossibility. You cannot love Me without loving the ones for whom My Son died" (John 13:34-35). Your life will not convince those around you of the reality of Jesus if you cannot live in unity with your fellow Christians.

What? Wait. But... Relationships. Ugh. sigh.

How many times have I walked this out in my own life? How often have I said (basically) those words?

So, was this a BAM moment for you too? Perhaps not, but it certainly is an area where I need to Learn and Grow and Let go.

What do you mean I can't love God if I don't "love" my brother or sister? There are some people in our lives that we just don't click with, that our ideals or philosophies don't mesh with each other and there is nothing but friction between us, or maybe we just plain don't like each other (much less love one another).

I have said many times, "I love you, Lord. I just can't deal with this person anymore or that person is so opposite of me that I can't relate to them. It's better that I just walk away." Ouch.

Honestly, I do find it easier to "love" non-believers and I get really tired of church "politics"... And, sometimes I feel non-believers or non-church people care about others more than those who do attend church regularly. In fact, this happened to our family a couple of years ago. Blaine and I have not attended church since that time. But, that still doesn't justify my choices, my attitudes, my non-loving attitude toward some believers...

Humans. We are so fickle. (Well, not all of us. I do know some wonderful followers of Jesus that don't have the issues I do.) But, in my case, I have had alot of issues over the years.

If I truly love the Lord, I shall take this lesson and learn from it. I have repented of my sinfulness and asked God to help me Learn and Grow. While it will always be difficult dealing with other people, it's my attitude that needs to be adjusted. I need to be second and put God in FIRST PLACE! My personal judgements and criticism of what others do (or don't do) affects my ability to love others ~ when it's really about who God is and what He is at work doing in this life and NOT about me and how I feel about things. I need to be in search of God in all things, not focusing on connecting with other people or "making friends" or what I can do for God ~ but determining what His business plans are for me and everything else will fall into place.

And, the more I focus on God (putting Him first), the more intentional I shall be in loving others and truly loving God. It's what He wants. It's who I want to be.

Check out this new movement: I AM SECOND.

I'd love you for you to share your thoughts too. Abundant blessings on your week and I look forward to being back next Thursday to share whatever God places on my heart.

Snow and Ice...

2012-01-19T18:19:00.000-08:00

It doesn't snow often in the Seattle area, but occasionally the high and low pressures work together and bring us a "snow event" as it did yesterday and today...

5 inches blanketed the garden.

This snow was powdery and didn't build up on the berry vines.

While the blueberries had alot of snow around them, it didn't weigh down their branches which made me very glad!

My garden flip flops were buried by our latest snow fall.

And then we awoke this morning to a surprise: ICE!

Once the snow stopped yesterday, freezing rain settled in and it continued throughout the night laying down a layer of ice over everything...

The Maple tree on my back deck encased in ice.

My vanilla strawberry hydrangea is ice coated and I'm hoping it doesn't snap under the weight of the ice...

Iced Rosemary!

My sunshine blueberries look quite different when compared to yesterday.

I am so hoping they don't sustain any damage.

Huckleberry icicles!

Spanish Lavender

Asparagus Fern

1/2 inch of ice on everything.

While the garden plants look so interesting with a coating of ice, I am hoping there is no long-term damage to anything.

My PCC Farmland Trust and Seattle Tilth "bumper stickers" look awesome through ice!

Winter settles in...

2012-01-16T18:14:00.000-08:00

Our winters are cold, wet (very rainy) and windy ~ but, it does occasionally SNOW in Seattle and the whole region comes to a screeching halt. Living in a city that is at sea level and rises quickly above it, means HILLS everywhere and the region just isn't set up to handle any amount of snowy and icy conditions.

While we are snuggled in at home, we can look out at the garden which is beautiful when snow blankets it... I took some photos from the house, but I did venture out to capture the winter season.

Snow covered raspberry trellis

Maple tree and bird bath on the back deck.

Berry vines...

Blueberry bushes

Rosemary

The garden looks enchanting covered in snowy white, don't you agree?!

Thought-filled Thursdays...

2012-01-12T03:00:00.000-08:00

At the end of each year, I ask the Lord what WORD He has for me for the coming year. One might describe it as a "theme" or "focus". For me, it's a word that helps guide me in the coming year as I live each day.

This year, as I pondered and prayed and sought the Lord for a word, I kept hearing, "Learn and Grow". Okay, learn and grow is pretty straight forward. Then, one day I heard, "Letting Go". Was it one or the other? Which one was it? As I sought an answer, I understood it to be BOTH! So, for 2012 it's LEARN and GROW + LETTING GO!

And, as I've learned over the years the word or words don't necessarily mean the first definition that comes to mind. No, it is often that plus a whole lot more than I could imagine it would be...

Last Fall, I picked up the devotional, Experiencing God Day by Day. The devotionals have been timely and a blessing to me. On January 6th, the devotional for the day really hit me.

God Looks for Clay

"House of Israel, can I not treat you as the potter treats this clay?" - this is the LORD's declaration. "Just like clay in the potter's hand, so are you in My hands, house of Israel." Jeremiah 18:6

God knows how to bring salvation to your family, your friends, your community, and your world. Accordingly, He looks for those who will allow Him to shape them into the instruments He requires to do His divine work. Clay has no plan of its own, no aspirations for service, nor reluctance to perform its given task. It is just clay. Moldable, pliable, totally submissive to its master.

At times we excitedly announce to God: "I've discovered my strengths and gifts, and now I know how I can best serve You!" At others times, we inform Him, "I am aware of what my weaknesses are, so I know which tasks I'm not capable of doing for You." Yet this is not characteristic of clay. God is not limited to working with our strengths (2 Cor 12:9-10). He can mold us into whatever kind of instrument He requires. When God's assignment demands humility, He finds a servant willing to be humbled. When His work requires zeal, He looks for someone He can fill with His Spirit. God uses holy vessels, so He finds those who will allow Him to remove their impurities. It is not a noble task, being clay. There is no glamour to it, nothing boast-worthy, except that it is exactly what God is looking for. Compliant, moldable, yielded clay.

If your tendency is to tell the Father what you can and cannot do for Him, submit to His agenda and allow Him to shape you into the person He wants you to be. Like clay.

As I read this passage, I felt like I'd been hit between the eyes with a 2x4. How often have I let the Lord know what I was doing for Him and what I could and couldn't do for Him. There are days when I really wonder why He is so PATIENT with me and my ways. Here, my gracious Father was sharing with me (now, today, right at that moment) what He really wanted me to allow Him to do. I asked His forgiveness for not being who He wanted me to be and that He would help me become the child of God He truly desires me to be. Now, I know that life gets challenging when you ask God to help you "become" something different from who you are today. It's not going to be easy. In fact, it's likely to be quite difficult to be like clay for Him; allowing Him to mold me, make me; yielding myself, my plans, my desires to His.

This is just the beginning of 2012 and if this is how it's starting ~ God's getting right to the point ~ it's going to be a very interesting year. LEARN and GROW + LETTING GO! I don't think I can even imagine what is in store for this year, but if God's in control it is going to be an amazing adventure!

And, one more thing before I move on to a new thought... Have you ever noticed how dirty and mucky a potter's hands become when they work with clay? If God is willing to "get His hands dirty" as He works in my life, shouldn't I be willing to do the same for Him?

After this revelation, I didn't really pursue things any further. (I don't think I really wanted to fully embrace allowing my life to be "CLAY".) But yesterday, I decided to take some time away from home and domestic duties and open myself up to hear from God what it is He is trying to say to me regarding these words He gave me for 2012. One of my special places to go and allow my mind to be open is Alki Beach. It was a gorgeous (albeit biting cold) day, so off I went. I arrived, went for a VERY short walk, took a few pictures and hurried back to the car to get warm again. I opened a notebook I'd taken along and jotted down a few thoughts and then turned to my Bible. "Jeremiah 29:11" Really? It seems so cliche, Lord? "Jeremiah 29:11" Okay. So I flipped to the passage.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Yes, Lord, I know this passage well. I'm still waiting for You to bless us and set us free from city living. You know it's been my desire to live in the country on acreage for many, many years. Blaine and I had just attended a community meeting on Sunday afternoon and learned that the entire Puget Sound region has been polluted from the Asarco copper smelt plant that operated for a hundred years in the Tacoma area. We didn't know the extent of arsenic and lead pollution to the area. It was like, "okay, Lord ~ how much longer do we need to put our time in here before you're going to get us out of here to a safer, healthier place? We've done much for You over the years."

And then, the Lord directed me to the lifestyle study highlight on the previous page in my Bible...

Jeremiah 29:1-14 ~ God rules

Blessing Babylon

The Jews were having an awful time in pagan Babylon. They thought that God would surely relent of His punishment and hustle them back to Jerusalem. But through the prophet Jeremiah, God sent a surprisingly different instruction. He instructed them to settle down, plant gardens, and raise families, to plan on staying seventy long years. God also told them to get out into the city and bless the Babylonians, for as they did, He would bless them with peace and prosperity.

The Lord was saying, in effect, "Look, guys, I know what I'm doing. I know you despise the Babylonians, but I intend to bless all nations through you. So pray for them, help the city to prosper and make it your home while you're here."

How often we waste time longing for yesterday or wishing for tomorrow instead of living for today, complaining instead of blessing. Difficult circumstances may go on longer than we thing they should, but God has purposes beyond what we can see. And His plans for us are good!

CRAP! Are you serious? I should really start "ducking", as this was another direct hit with a 2x4 right between the eyes. Why me? Why us? I knew as I began reading the passage that God was showing me that His plan was for us to stay where He has "planted us" for this season and while we have been blessing people to some measure, I've been withholding because I don't like this or that OR I need to focus on our plan to move to the country one day OR these people aren't worth my time OR well...... I think you can probably fill in many more statements for me. Ugh.

Forgive me, Lord, for I have again fallen short of Your desires for my life and our life in this place. I know I'm going to make alot of mistakes as I continue to travel on this journey and in this season of our life. I don't understand why we're here Lord. Why did you choose this place? It's noisy, and people are rude, and we don't have the money to do work on our house that's needed, and ... Well, there's really no use in going on. I have wasted a great amount of time. I have complained ALOT! We do have difficult circumstances to deal with from time-to-time. BUT God's purposes are truly beyond what I can see. He is at work. We have some really incredible and friendly neighbors. We are close to everything. We have a large lot in which to create an "urban farm" and begin living "our dream" now. He has enabled me to provide a monthly service to others through becoming an Azure drop (and bringing more wonderful people into my life). My cousin lives near by and we love getting to spend time together. He has truly blessed us to the measure we have allowed Him to work in and through our lives. And today, I realized I have much LEARNING and GROWING to do and there is going to be much to LET GO of this year to enable God to use me more in this place.

It's time to truly...

Blessings upon your week... Each Thursday I will be taking time to thoughtfully process what God is teaching me. I pray each of us desires to Learn and Grow to become more like Him. May His love flow through each of our lives to reach a world desperately in need of love.

State of the Garden: January

2012-01-11T20:23:00.000-08:00

Today was a gorgeous (and very chilly) winter day in Seattle to take a picture of the garden. There is much work ahead for us this season. The little building behind (and below) the garage is an old shed that the previous owner built for his garden. First project for the 2012 garden agenda is to tear it down, so we can begin preparing the area to build the new chicken coop. In addition, all the tarp covered areas are where the new raised beds are going to be installed this spring. Maybe late spring to early summer, as it's a big project with pulling out an old stump and bringing in compost and soil to level out the whole area. But, SO EXCITED for our new chickens and garden expansion for this growing season!

If you look at our raised beds, they are topped with green vegetation. The cover crop I sowed quite late last fall began growing right about Christmas time. I am thrilled that it actually sprouted and is growing well. I purchased the Organic Soil Builder from Peaceful Valley, which contains vetch, oats, peas and beans ~ all of which will be turned into the soil a couple of weeks prior to planting in the spring. *Note: remember to purchase the inoculant recommended. Many people are now including "green manure" (cover crops such as crimson clover) to increase the fertility of their soil. I decided to go with a more complex version for our garden. I've read good reviews about this seed combination and benefit to the soil.

A closer look at these workhouse "high nitrogen" plants.

And, I discovered the rhubarb is just beginning to burst through the soil...

Cold winter weather on the horizon, so I'll be cutting branches from our Christmas tree to cover these young plants and keep them insulated.

Re-focus time!

2012-01-09T14:40:00.000-08:00

We shared a lovely New Year's holiday time with all of our adult children home. Now, they've returned to their homes in Indiana and Kansas and we're getting re-focused here and ready to get back into the swing of things...

I was abundantly blessed at Christmas. Gifts included a new digital camera and an Excalibur food dehydrator! Loved all the gifts I received...

We feasted on rib-eye, roasted beets, sweet potatoes and yams and cauliflower New Year's Eve!

...followed by 3 Berry pie and champagne

At the Seattle Center to ring in the New Year together!

Our children plus son-in-law

The whole family on New Year's Eve!

Blaine and I as 2012 arrives!

Thank you Lord for another year of life and for blessing our family abundantly.

We give you praise!

From our family to you... May 2012 be filled with great JOY, abundant blessings and may you grow and learn and love more than ever before!

Reflections on the holidays....

2011-12-22T22:15:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas! I love the idea of Christmas, the anticipation, the decorations, the baking (and sharing), the gift giving, the holiday lights, the Christmas tree, the movies, the gathering of family and friends. There are boxes and bows, St. Nicholas Day goodie bags, Christmas cards and letters, visits with family, friends and neighbors, Christmas concerts and special performances, and holiday recipes galore! I'm one of those people that still believes in the Norman Rockwell Christmas ideal. But, it seems that I chase after something that remains just out of reach...

And suddenly, in the midst of the season I find myself downcast, disappointed, and sometimes feeling really sad. How can that be? 'Tis the season of merriment, hope and GREAT JOY! So what's the deal? No matter how much I work at being organized, getting the Christmas cards and our annual letter ready early, sharing baked goods with our neighbors on St. Nicholas Day (December 6th) and planning to keep our schedule relaxing and uncluttered ~ stress and feeling "let down" settles upon me, at some point, during the season. I make the determination that I will find time to quiet myself and reflect on the Advent season and yet, here it is December 22nd and I didn't spend the time I desired. In need of "Christmas spirit", I decided Blaine and I should go to Snowflake Lane at Bellevue Square (a local mall) last night. Upon arriving, I felt completely overwhelmed by the frenzy of people hustling and bustling in every direction and the stress of just trying to find a place to park... I enjoy special Christmas performances, but this one left me feeling empty and blah. It's now extremely loud and they've added to the original show to "up" its appeal to people ~ but to me, it was just NOISE. And, people were pushing and impatient when the show finished so they could get back to shopping or pop into a coffee shop for a drink. I tried to breathe calmly and keep my peace and focus and shut out the craziness around us, but the environment was too hectic and got to me. I was done. We left. I felt flat and my Christmas "spirit" was sucked out of me.

Is Christmas just a commercial holiday? Do people really care about the spirit of Christmas, spreading love and goodwill among men? Is it just about lights and displays and finding that obligatory gift (at the best price) for a loved one? Perhaps, it's scoring great deals on Black Friday or Cyber Monday. Is it about having the best Christmas lights in the neighborhood? Maybe it's having that traditional Christmas turkey or ham and all the trimmings... Eggnog? Or is it a Gingerbread latte or peppermint hot chocolate at your local Starbucks? In Seattle, it seems to be the Christmas Tree Lighting at Westlake Center, the carousel and visiting Pike Place Market (that is beautifully decorated for the Christmas season). If I keep searching, I'll figure it out one day ~ right?

Why does this happen every year? Why do I always feel let down at Christmas?

Today, I found a blog that had a wonderful post that brought great insight. Sharing it here. Check out the blog, Intersect, by clicking on the title.

Beyond A Normal Rockwell Christmas

Norman Rockwell has a whole series of Christmas paintings that capture a nostalgic family feel. He paints pictures of happy families singing carols together, kids opening presents under a perfect Christmas tree, and Santa Claus coming to bring gifts. Rockwell’s paintings seem to capture the ideal that many people have for Christmas. Christmas, as one carol puts it, is supposed to be “the happiest season of all.”

Yet, if you find yourself going through a hard time this Christmas season, these expectations tend to make things worse. It is hard to be going through grief or hardship when the whole world seems to be saying we should be happy. When grief is juxtaposed with the expectation of happiness, it tends to deepen our grief.

The reality, however, is that the original Christmas belonged to those who were dealing with hardship. We have sentimentalized the nativity story, but the reality is that it has a radical message of hope for the poor. The nativity story is about God coming with good news for the down and out.

Mary is not a quiet, peaceful mother that basks in the glow of her newborn son. She is a feisty revolutionary who risks danger and even death to participate in Gods plan to overthrow tyranny and injustice. She sings of God, “He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble. He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty” (Luke 1:52-53).

The presence of the shepherds in the nativity scene would have been shocking to the ancient reader. Shepherds were low in social standing and were often thought to be thieves who were a drag on society. Yet, they are included for a reason. These outcasts and misfits were at the inauguration of the new king because this new king had come for people just like them!

Indeed, when the nativity story comes to an end and Jesus speaks for the first time he quotes Isaiah 61 saying, “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Here Jesus indicates the purpose of his coming. Jesus came to us in order to bring good news for those who were dealing with hardship.

The Christmas season, then, is certainly a season of hope and joy. It is a season to celebrate. However, we celebrate a different, much deeper sort of joy then our culture has associated with Christmas. Christmas celebrates the type of joy that is found at the intersection of grief and grace. It is the joy that comes when we realize that there is hope even in the midst of the most difficult times. It is a joy that comes when we understand that Jesus is a savior who has come with good news for the poor.

So for those who are struggling this Christmas, don’t let our culture push you to the sidelines of the season. This season is meant for you! Christmas is a season of hope for the down and out.

And then, a friend posted this:

The spirit of Christmas needs to superseded by the Spirit of Christ.
The spirit of Christmas is annual; the Spirit of Christ is eternal.
The spirit of Christmas is sentimental; the Spirit of Christ is supernatural.
The spirit of Christmas is a human product; the Spirit of Christ is a divine person.
That makes all the difference in the world. – Stuart Briscoe

Click on the photo to read a powerful Advent blog entry at Godspace.

The greatest joy I've felt this season was attending the Christmas concert at a church our family used to attend. It was a special evening of music and God's presence. And more joy in seeing Father Paul and getting to chat with him when he came to pick up his monthly Azure order and watching my young cousins perform in A Charlie Brown Christmas play.

The more I let go of "plans", expectations, stressing over going to a restaurant for dinner on Christmas Eve at 8:30 pm (when I think everyone should be with their families), worrying about what everyone will think of our non-traditional Christmas dinner, and focusing on Jesus instead of my "human concerns" ~ I am, once again, reminded that it's about my choices. If I don't want the world overwhelming me or running me down during the Christmas season, I need to focus on the one thing I have control over; my attitude, my journey. Why does my gaze wander from the Only Source that gives life? Why do I so often look to the world, when the world has nothing to offer? But God is faithful and He brings His Truth and His Love anew into my life and my hope is renewed and my JOY is restored. We all have the ability to receive a gift that money cannot buy. His name is Jesus. And because of Him, there is much rejoicing to do in this Christmas season for our God is with us!

When holiday plans...

2011-12-22T17:18:00.000-08:00

...don't work out the way we envisioned, planned, expected. Disappointment can really overshadow the hope and joy of the season. What is a person to do?

Life is challenging, because we are all human. We each have our own unique personalities, our definition of "family time" and our own ideas about how our "holiday vacation" is going to look for us.

As the holiday season approached, we were filled with much anticipation, as all our adult children will be home for the holidays (at least some part of it). Our oldest son is home for 2 1/2 weeks and our daughter and son-in-law will be visiting for a week (over the New Year). Now that our family is scattered across the country, we rarely get to spend time all together and we are really thankful for a few days when everyone is "home" at the same time.

Knowing this, visions of doing things as a family and time spent together filled our heads. Our oldest son is in grad school and we knew he would be working at his former job some plus he has a wonderful opportunity to play with the Pacific Northwest Ballet for two of their annual Nutcracker performances. We planned a 2-day Canadian getaway for the guys just after Christmas. And, we planned to spend New Year's Eve and New Year's Day with the whole family together. The past 2 years have been extremely challenging and sometimes, painful, for our family ~ so this is a special gift to be all together.

Well.... life is what happens when we make plans. Our oldest son's schedule is extremely full. Between working at his old job and playing for The Nutcracker, it hasn't left alot of free time in his schedule. In addition, he has lots of friends and music networking connections to re-connect with too. And, our two sons work at the same company. Unfortunately, their schedules are off just enough that it doesn't allow us to plan anything for an evening. Going to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie had been in the plans, but I just don't see how it will become a reality with the schedule. We can't even find time to watch White Christmas or the Muppet Christmas Carol ~ Christmas favorites that everyone enjoys watching together...

We thought our oldest son wouldn't work much after Christmas, but he is scheduled for another 31 hours. The day his sister and brother-in-law arrive, he works until 11pm. So much for a family dinner upon their arrival. And, New Year's Eve he is schedule to work 11 - 8. Again, so much for our plans of spending time together, playing and dinner. Yes, we will technically be able to do a specific activity I discussed with everyone ~ to go to the Seattle Center and watch the fireworks at midnight. But...

On New Year's Day, my parents are coming to visit and we'll have a small open house for a few people to stop by. There are plans for a sushi lunch on January 2nd and our son returns home on the 3rd. Not many options for family time together... Our daughter let us know that they had planned to stay with another friend for the last couple days of their visit. Okay..... (An e-mail a couple of days later indicated that they would be staying with us the whole time, although I'm not holding my breath because I know plans could change again.)

Why? Why can't things work out the way we imagine or plan? Why can't we all be less connected to the outside world while visiting family and being "home"? And yet, the reality is that we are all adults and have lives and relationships and ideas of our own. We have a history together and separately; both good and challenging.

Now, maybe it appears I'm whining. Maybe you think I should be grateful that we're together at all. I am. And, as things haven't worked out the way that we planned, I have dealt with the realization that I do have expectations of how the holidays will play out (even though I've tried to be really open and flexible and not have "expectations"). I tried to hold lightly to plans, but when the schedule became more complicated than we could have imagined ~ it was very tough and I've had to work through great disappointment and frustrations over the past few days. Through all of this, I'm learning even more about myself and embrace the truth that I still have more growing, changing and transformation work to be done in my own life.

To be honest, I got really hung up on our adult children (who don't live at home any longer) and believing they weren't thinking about the rest of the family, not making choices that made myself (and Dad) feel like they really wanted to come and visit us and spend time together as a family, and felt the "victim" role creeping up on me. And, it was a stark reminder that it is so easy to get our feelings hurt, to put up walls to protect yourself and/or just stay in a defensive (protective mode) because people are just going to keep letting you down. I've learned that often people have no idea how their actions or choices have affected others. There is a snowball effect that can quickly develop and bad feelings and "wounds" just get worse and worse and relationships fall apart... And no one really understands exactly what is happening.

Well, it's not what I want. Life IS what happens when we make plans. I cannot worry that someone is going to feel bad about how much time we spend together or things don't go the way that we planned. I'm working on not taking it personally when a decision is made that interrupts our plans or things don't work out the way I had hoped. Instead, I'm focusing on being thankful for the moments we do share with one another, living and focusing on the present time and having a heart of gratitude in the midst of frustration, struggles and my own healing. I want my hands and heart to be open so love can flow through me to others and God can continue to work in and through our lives. And, I'm believing that we will make some fond memories during the 2011 holiday season...

Welcome Winter!

2011-12-22T08:07:00.000-08:00

Happy First Day of Winter!

American artist, Robert Duncan, captures the seasons of life in his precious paintings. Click on either of the winter scenes to visit his website. He is my favorite artist!

Angels unaware...

2011-12-21T15:19:00.000-08:00

A few years ago, I met Father Paul, from All-Merciful Saviour Monastery on Vashon Island. We'd see each other for a few minutes once-per-month when we picked up our orders for Azure Standard. When I opened a drop at our home, he switched and had his order dropped here too. Now, when he comes to pick up his order we often visit for a few minutes and sometimes many minutes. I know his day is busy when he's on the mainland, but he always makes time to visit. One of his greatest gifts to share with others is his wonderful smile and belly laughter. And, he has a precious heart. It makes me smile just remembering him and his laughter.

I became a bit more curious about the monastery where he lives and discovered that Abbot Tryphon writes a blog called The Morning Offering each day. And, while I don't read his posts everyday, I appreciate what he shares. Click on the picture above to read a special entry... It touched my heart in a very special place.

Happy St. Nicholas Day!

2011-12-06T09:29:00.001-08:00

In the heavens lives a Saint,
St. Nicholas is he.
He loves to help all people,
and do so secretly.

Down to earth he journeys
on his special day each year.
He brings great joy and happiness,
and LOTS of holiday cheer!

He and his white horse travel,
from star to star to star.
Children anxiously wait for him,
children near and far.

And so St. Nicholas comes to us all,
sharing gifts and sharing love.
St. Nicholas, you are a blessed saint,
sent to us from Heaven above!

In the spirit of St. Nicholas, we celebrate today be delivering goodie bags to each of our neighbors (filled with baked goods, satsumas, candy canes and a packet of seeds to plant next spring in the garden). We'll spend several hours today visiting with our neighbors; some at length and some only momentarily. We love every minute of this special tradition.

GF Molasses Cookies

2011-12-06T09:24:00.001-08:00

We love Molasses Cookies at our house.

Ali at Whole Life Nutrition re-posted this recipe today. I can hardly wait to try it. Click on the photo to get the recipe for yourself. You'll be glad you did.

Simply offering may profoundly bless you!

2011-12-02T13:50:00.001-08:00

This morning, I chatted with a dear young man. It was good to hear from him. As we talked, he told me that a friend of his was auditioning in Chicago for grad school entrance. The school is very difficult to get into, but it was difficult to get into Indiana University for her instrument, as well. He didn't ask, but I felt prompted to let him know I would pray. He told me the time of her audition, eastern time, and I set my cellphone alarm. It worked out that I started praying prior to the time he told me. As I began to pray and intercede, I felt the strong presence of the Lord and His incredible power at work! I knew this young woman was indeed being used by God and through her life, He is, and will, bring glory to His name! As I prayed, God gave me a new worship song to begin singing. I wish I had a voice that I could record and share the tune too, but I shall be content with sharing the words. I know He is able to share the tune with others, if He so desires.

No other name ~ Only Jesus!

No other name ~ Emmanuel...

No other name ~ Lord and Savior.

No other name ~ Thee Only Way...

There have been times in my life when the Holy Spirit has brought new worship songs to my heart and mind (and it is always powerful), but to-be-honest the past few years I haven't felt that power in my life or faith walk. Today, it's like the fire hydrant was opened as I went to quench my thirst and kaboom! Drenched in His love, drenched in His Spirit, drenched in His power. It brought me to tears; His presence was so strong. It's the first time ~ in a while ~ that I've felt overwhelmed by His presence; so near to Him and He to me. What a precious gift to receive, as I simply offered to pray. Little did I know that He had a plan not only for this young woman's life, but also for me. He has a plan for your life too! I'm not "someone special" (I make plenty of mistakes every day and fall so short of all He desires for me) ~ we all have access to the same God and all that He desires to share with His children. WHAT AN AMAZING AND AWESOME GOD WE HAVE! Today, I stepped into His story and actively participated in His work. You can too. He will bless your socks off, if you let Him.

In addition, the chorus of a well-known worship song came to me to sing out, as well:

And I cry holy, holy, holy God

How awesome is Your name

Holy, holy, holy God

How majestic is Your reign

And I am changed in the presence of a holy God

As I finished praying and sat down to eat lunch, I thanked God for His provision and asked His blessing upon my meal. I reached over and picked up the devotional I am currently reading, "Experiencing God Day by Day". Today's entry ~

Profitable

"All scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man (and woman) of God may be complete, equipped for every good work." 2 Timothy 3:16-17

All scripture is profitable! Knowing this, we cheat ourselves when we do not access every book, every truth, every verse and every page of our Bibles for the promises and commands God has for us. Because every verse of Scripture is inspired by God and gainful to us, we should not pick and choose which verses we will read and study. We should not claim verses we like and ignore those that convict us! If we are to become mature disciples of Jesus, we must allow every Scripture to speak to us and teach us what God desires us to learn. Scripture enables us to evaluate the soundness of doctrines that are being taught. Scripture ought to be the basis for any reproof or correction we bring to another.

If you are not firmly grounded in God's Word, you will be bombarded with an assortment of doctrines, lifestyles, and behaviors, and you will have no means to evaluate whether or not they are of God. You cannot develop a righteous life apart from God's Word. Righteousness must be cultivated. As you fill your mind with the words of God, and as you obey His instructions, He will guide you in the ways of righteousness. Scripture will equip you for any good work God calls you to do. If you fell inadequate for a task God has given you, search the Scriptures, for within them you will find the wisdom you need to carry out His assignment. Allow the Word of God to permeate, guide, and enrich your life.

We are able to be equipped and ready for every good work God calls us to. But, are we willing to invest the time? Are we willing to be available to Him? Are we willing to hear what He wants to share with us? These are questions I ask of myself too. My answer has not always been yes. Even today, I am re-evaluating my choices and how my time is spent each day.

And yesterday, I received a HUGE insight in my life that was much needed in my life/faith journey. It was given by one who has searched the Scriptures and who simply offered to actively step into God's story.

Author Ted Dekker was asked, "Who do you aspire to be?"

His answer: One who loved extravagantly without expecting reward. If it's more blessed to give than receive love, than why do we expect to be treated kindly for our love? Selfless love considers only the other's needs, desires and hopes. Selfishness, possessive love is the root of all anger, jealousy, and bitterness. God help us all...

Today, all I did was SIMPLY OFFER my life; to take a few minutes out of my day to pray and God blessed my heart, my spirit and my life in unexpected ways. He showed me the power of His Truth, His Love, His Word alive in me on behalf of others. Perhaps you will consider SIMPLY OFFERING yourself in whatever way God may ask you to ~ saying hello to a neighbor or stranger, putting a few coins or a few dollars into the local Salvation Army kettle, spend the day with someone you love ~ doing the things they'd like to do, visiting with older family members or an older neighbor, baking goodies to share with the neighbors or just praying for someone. The ways to step into God's story are endless. What would He simply have you offer today? It may profoundly change and affect your life too!

And thank you to a dear young man who took time to chat with me this morning... To you and your friend, I am so thankful for this incredible opportunity.

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 30

2011-11-30T20:04:00.001-08:00

Today, I received a precious gift. It is a gift that money cannot buy. A gift that made me smile, made my heart overflow with JOY and caused my spirit to soar. You cannot find this gift in a store. You cannot order it online. You won't find this gift on someone's wish list. It is a gift that keeps on giving ~ for when you receive it from one person, you will want to pass it on to another and another and another...

This gift came from someone I don't see often, but I do think of him from time-to-time. I had no expectation of seeing him today, but he was there. I watched his face light up in recognition of me, as I entered through the doorway, and my whole body smiled when I saw him too. After a quick greeting, he gave me a wonderful, heart-filled, "I'm so glad to see you" HUG! ...and I got another one when I left too.

I am so thankful for Dennis and the power of a simple HUG shared with another human being. I feel loved.

What a special way to end my 30 Days of Thanksgiving, though I pray I maintain a "heart of thanksgiving" daily. Our God is an amazing God and He shows us how much He loves us through so many people all around us. Share a HUG with someone you encounter today. Keep passing it on...

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 29

2011-11-30T19:32:00.001-08:00

I am so thankful for my precious "older" neighbors. While we have many good neighbors ~ Jan, Bernie and Margaret are special friends to me. I couldn't imagine living in our neighborhood without them. Each of these dear people are 80 years old and up ~ and each one has lost their spouse. Jan knows much of the history of the neighborhood and used to organize the neighborhood birthday celebrations. She's one of the first neighbors we met when we moved into this Chelsea Park neighborhood 5 years ago. She gets out and walks nearly everyday (even days when I decided to stay in). She is a woman of faith, faces challenges with a positive outlook, and has blessed me with 2 lovely lunches to say "thank you" for getting her mail when she's away. Bernie has wonderful stories to share. His memory amazes me, as I can't remember things as he can. He has a dog named Ginger whom our Coco likes to visit. Ginger is always excited to see us, because she knows I've brought a treat for her. Bernie spoils Coco with treats too. He's always learning something new, is upset when we've walked by but he didn't see us and has the sweetest smile. I love stopping by to visit with him. He has challenges walking up to our house and I'm thankful he purchased an electric chair, so he can buzz up to my house to visit now too. Blaine and I have special memories of chatting with Margaret and her husband Joe last Christmas when we delivered goodie bags to our neighbors. We were saddened when Joe passed away this year. Great stories, amazing memories and both of them dear people. Margaret's whole face lights up when she smiles. I don't visit with Margaret as much as I do with Jan and Bernie ~ but my heart smiles when I look out my window and down the street and know that each of these lovely people are my neighbors!

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 28

2011-11-28T19:05:00.001-08:00

I am so thankful for the farmers on Tualco Loop Road and Tualco Road in Monroe. I discovered this farm area a number of years ago when we picked organic strawberries, raspberries, etc. When I need to get away from the city and clear my head, this is one of my favorite places to go. Today, God blessed this time with gorgeous late afternoon sunshine!

My heart fills with joy when I see this sight!

One of the organic u-pick farms. They had to raise their house due to flooding...

Farm reflections in my mirror.

I don't often see an owl out during the daylight hours.

Look closely and you'll see him on the post.

The mountains are not far away and make a beautiful backdrop for the farm fields.

Sigh...

Farm road with trees

Wooden bridge

I love how the tires thumpety, thumpety, thumpety over the boards...

Pasture with old trees.

Gorgeous! I caught site of a tire swing. Can you see it?

Does that help?

Farm fields on a late November afternoon...

Hoop rows in the distance...

Willie Greens! You can find them at the U-District Farmer's Market on Saturdays.

Look closely and you'll see farm workers busy on the row-covered row in the right of the photo. (Toward the back of the row).

Don't you love how the sinking sun casts shadows upon the field?

Goodbye dear farmland and all the farmers and farm workers who steward and make a living from this fertile ground... Abundant blessings!

I shall return another day....

Thank you for encouraging my spirit and quieting my heart today.

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 27

2011-11-27T19:00:00.001-08:00

Thankful for the anticipation of the holiday season ahead...

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 26

2011-11-27T10:24:00.001-08:00

So thankful for our annual "Christmas Tree Adventure" on the Saturday following Thanksgiving! (A new tradition we began 3 years ago)

Ready to embark on this year's adventure.

Lunch at the Taco Bus in Marysville is a must!

Good taco.

On the road to Secret Valley Christmas Tree Farm in Arlington.

A happy family passes us with their tree...

Entering the Nordman Fir forest...

The search begins...

Many trees to consider...

Circling. Checking it out from every angle.

Tree Ninja has triumphed once again!

Over the river and through the woods...

Wait.

Across the field and up the gravel road.

Christmas tree cutting footwear.

I got my front door wreath too!

This is the first Christmas tree hoisted on top of our new car!

We don't have to tie the back doors shut this year...

The tie-down begins...

Making sure it's secure for the hour long drive home.

Almost finished...

Christmas tree through the moonroof.

Planned stop at the Feed Store in Marysville to purchase rubber boots for Blaine.

Unplanned stop at WalMart for "boys" to purchase awesome nerf guns...

Nicholas' choice is a bit higher tech than Blaine's.

And, the nerf wars begin!

The house is under siege.

Craziness commences, as Coco barks wildly at the shooting going on and chases nerf darts; occasionally stealing one and promptly getting yelled at...

I couldn't have asked for a better day!

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 25

2011-11-27T10:16:00.001-08:00

I am thankful for my husband being understanding and supportive when I make a last minute decision to do a little "Black Friday" shopping ~ and take him to a CRAZY BUSY fabric store... And, his willingness to help me clean my parents carpets and clean out their drier vent (plus he set up my Mom's skype account). Good times!

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 24

2011-11-24T20:24:00.001-08:00

I am thankful for family, good food and being connected together whether near or far apart...

Skyping Thanksgiving morning with Benjamin.

(currently living in Bloomington, Indiana)

Celebrating Thanksgiving with Blaine and Nicholas.

...and going to The Muppets movie in the early afternoon with two of my favorite guys!

Blueberry pie a la mode...

Pumpkin pie with whipped topping.

Coconut rice, roasted vegetables and Beeler's ham.

Skyping with Elizabeth and Josh Thanksgiving evening.
(currently living in Wichita, Kansas)

Ending the evening with a heart overflowing with thankfulness
for our family and how God has so richly blessed us all!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T08:40:00.001-08:00

Whether many or few are gathered round your table...
Whether there is loud chatter or quiet conversation...
Whether you indulge in a huge feast or enjoy a small meal...
May your heart be filled to overflowing with thankfulness and joy ~
on this Thanksgiving Day!

Giving thanks for family and friends; near and far, but all close at heart!

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 23

2011-11-23T22:54:00.001-08:00

I am thankful that I am a Pie Maker.

I love that our daughter, Elizabeth, is also a Pie Maker and we share this gift. In fact, without knowing it, we both chose to make the same type of pies for our respective Thanksgiving celebrations (she lives in Wichita, Kansas); blueberry and pumpkin.

Our son, Nicholas, has stated that his future wife must be a Pie Maker. Obviously, pie is very important to our family...

I'm not sure where my pie making ability comes from. My Mom is not a Pie Maker. I don't remember my grandmothers making pies either. In reflecting upon where I could have learned this wonderful skill from, I fondly recall that Blaine's grandmother was a wonderful Pie Maker. Perhaps I absorbed her skills. I love making pies, sharing pies and eating pie; especially the gluten-free kind!

Holidays wouldn't be the same without homemade pie. And pie isn't reserved just for special occasions, for it can brighten any day or be made "just because". Pie not only brings a smile to your face, but also delights the taste buds... Pie is our favorite dessert!

Pumpkin and Blueberry pies for Thanksgiving.

Leftover dough is turned into a homemade strawberry pop-tart.

Homemade strawberry jam is the perfect topping...

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 22

2011-11-22T18:53:00.001-08:00

I am so thankful for my rubber boots, especially in the torrential downpour today! I still can't believe I've lived in the Seattle area for all these many years and not owned a pair until this fall....... Hooray for rubber daisy boots!

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 21

2011-11-21T18:54:00.001-08:00

The joy of serving others...

Although I didn't intend to become a "drop coordinator" for Azure Standard, a number of things happened with the drop I had been participating in and one thing led to another and I agreed to start a new monthly drop at our home.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to serve the members of our drop! They are a lovely group of people and come from all over the area to pick up their orders; Vashon Island, SeaTac, north Seattle, just a few blocks away too... They usually have a few minutes to chat; sometimes several. All I have to do is make myself available on delivery day (usually late afternoon/early evening) to process the order when it's dropped off, separate the orders in our garage, call everyone to let them know their orders are ready for pick-up, and be home so everyone can come by that evening or the next day. They appreciate my willingness to provide this service for them and to keep their orders secure ~ frozen items in our freezer and chill items in our fridge (if they can't pick up their orders right away).

And while there is no financial benefit to me, I am more-than-rewarded through friendly conversation, words of appreciation, a smile and Father Paul's belly laugh... I am so thankful to be part of this little community of people who desire good food/natural products at a great price!

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 20

2011-11-20T20:24:00.001-08:00

Overtaken by Blessings

All these blessings will come and overtake you, because you obey the Lord your God. Deuteronomy 28:2

When you walk in fellowship with God, you do not have to ask Him to bless you. He wants to bless you! Just as you enjoy surprising someone you love with unexpected gifts, God delights in giving you His gifts in times and ways that you might never expect. God's blessings often come in the midst of your everyday life - an encouraging telephone call in the middle of a busy morning or a letter you receive at the end of a hard day. A friend may drop by to help when you are overwhelmed, or you may receive unexpected financial help at a time of need. Often, God's blessings do not come in spectacular ways but in the ordinary busyness of your life. They come just when you most need an expression of God's love.

Blessings come as a result of obedience. When you walk closely with the Lord, blessings will come, regardless of whether you seek them. Blessings from your obedience will also come to those around you - to your children and to your grandchildren. Solomon enjoyed vast wealth during his reign, but God's blessing upon him came largely as a result of his father David's obedience in the previous generation. God promised Abraham that his obedience would bring blessing to all the families of the earth (Genesis 12:2-3).

Do not take God's gifts for granted. When you receive an unexpected blessing, thank God for His continuing love and be alert to recognize the next time His blessing overtakes you!

*from Experiencing God day-by-day, November 20.

This morning was a very frosty morning in Seattle. Toasty and warm in the house, I looked out the window at one of my sweet maples trees and noticed the heavy frost and the beauty settled upon its leaves. Without a moment's hesitation, I grabbed my camera and hurried out the door to capture my garden's beauty although only 7 am. I barely noticed the chilly temps (well, at least, until I went back into the house), as I scurried about the garden in my robe and slippers. Filled with child-like wonder and delight, I couldn't get enough of the beauty all around me.

When I settled down for breakfast, I grabbed my devotional and read today's entry. I was overwhelmed with the realization that God had opened my eyes and heart to see the special blessing He had sent to me in my garden ~ frosted beauty!

I am still in awe and my heart is overflowing with thanksgiving for this precious and amazing gift I received this morning...

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 19

2011-11-20T18:30:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for the many ways God blesses me. And, I'm even more thankful for how He continues to teach me new things about people...

I attended the Seattle Tilth Harvest Fair in mid-September and was delighted with the farmers, the exhibitors, the music, the food, the workshops. It was a gorgeous sunny day and I enjoyed visiting with people and purchasing produce and a book written by a local author. I also purchased three raffle tickets to win a chicken coop package. Unbelievably, I won!

I am so thankful for Kippen House and Seattle Farm Supply for contributing this package to the Fair. It was delivered the next day and we temporarily set it up in the back garden prior to storing it in the garage for the winter (we have to prep the area where it will permanently reside). It was so thrilling to know that next spring we would have our own chickens in our backyard...

I had done alot of research about raising chickens, what kind of coop, etc. When I won this coop, it was nothing like I had planned or imagined - but I was determined to make it work for me. But, I still felt (deep down) that this just wasn't the right coop for me or my garden. I attended the Chickens 101 class at Seattle Tilth and my "uncertainty" about the coop was confirmed. This past week, I contacted Kippen House and explained how I was feeling, that I couldn't keep the coop and told her she could have the coop back, if she wanted it. I was not looking to make a profit off the coop I won. I just needed to be true to myself and build the coop I really wanted ~ even to the point of giving up the prize I had won. I know. I'm crazy, but I'm really trying to learn to be true to myself and not settle about certain things. This was one of those things.

Traci was so understanding, though I really worried about her reaction. Blaine and I met her at Starbucks on Saturday to discuss things. We came to a mutual agreement that instead of me selling the coop, she would come get the coop from me and raffle it off again next year (to raise money for Seattle Tilth) and she's giving me a small amount of money toward materials to build my coop (I told her she didn't have to ~ but she felt it was good deal for both of us). She shared that her coop design isn't for everyone. We had a good discussion about why the coop doesn't work for my garden set-up and me personally. I thanked her again for being so understanding. I am also thankful that she didn't think badly of me and my decision not to keep the coop. I learned that not everyone will react negatively if you don't think the same way they do.

And, I am so excited to begin making plans and gathering the materials needed ~ so Blaine and I can begin building our new coop next spring! And yes, I am still getting the other half of my prize package: brooder and baby chicks. Hooray!

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 18

2011-11-18T15:13:00.001-08:00

Today was a difficult day to figure out what to share for Day 18 of thankfulness. I don't know why, but I really struggled. Then I read another blog and the post for Day 17 ~ and I was reminded to look past the end of my nose and dig deep for what I am truly thankful for...

I've had a lifelong dream of living in the country on a few acres. Growing/raising our own food, living as sustainable as possible, solar/wind power, rain cistern water system. You get the picture. That dream has always been just beyond my reach. Today, our home is located just south of Seattle - not where I ever envisioned living. And, because of the economy we are "under" in our house and the likelihood of being able to sell anytime soon is nearly impossible.

However, in the midst of this ~ we are building an "urban farm" (not a term I really like to use, but people understand what you're talking about). It's really a very large garden with plans to plant edibles throughout the property and add chickens and maybe a beehive eventually...

I am VERY THANKFUL for the opportunity to have a large garden. I am learning much about growing and still have much to learn. Blaine has worked hard alongside me to transform our property with 13 raised beds installed. We plan to build a chicken coop next spring and hope to get in an additional 3 raised beds too. One day, we may even have a greenhouse and garden shed.

I love our garden and cannot imagine living here without it. It is the thing that continues to give me hope living in the city. It keeps me connected to my dream and I am thankful for how God continues to bless my inexperienced efforts with significant harvests.

2011 garden ~ late spring

Future expansion ~ fruit orchard, greenhouse and garden shed on the upper level.

The little red-door garden shed (from the previous owner) will be dis-assembled and removed next spring to build the new chicken coop in that spot.

2011 garden late summer

Recently, reworked garden plans for the back garden.

Working in the garden is therapy for one's spirit. I am so thankful for our garden...

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 17

2011-11-17T21:32:00.001-08:00

I am thankful for Hallmark movies and how they warm my heart...

Tonight's movie was: Mistletoe over Manhattan

Movie line that caught my attention: Christmas is about love, kindness and generosity. Today people think they are entitled.

Wonderful reminder, for me, to keep the spirit of Christmas alive in spite of what the world may be doing...

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 16

2011-11-16T19:25:00.001-08:00

I'm thankful for the little things I can share with those I love. My reward is a SMILE! This makes my heart very happy...

The ingredients to make Yogi Emily's rosemary essential oil spray.

Today, I made up a bottle for Elizabeth and included it in their Happy Anniversary package...

I found this adorable advent (chocolate-filled) calendar for Nicholas.

While not a religious focused countdown to Christmas, it certainly brought a smile to his face... And we were reminded of this sweet, classic Christmas movie.

Sent Benjamin a pound of Sulawesi-Kalosi, because I offered and he requested this roast. College students may be poor, but they need good coffee to keep them going. Its description: A rare coffee with unusual depth and complexity. Rich, full body with a hint of nutty earthiness. Semi-aged by Peet's to create a unique cup, with depth and flavor to evoke the spice-laden air of the Indonesian archipelago.

And, as the Christmas season arrives ~ Holiday m&ms are stocked on the shelves of nearly every store you visit. We like the peanut ones. Yes, they make us all smile!

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 15

2011-11-15T18:04:00.001-08:00

I LOVE TREES, especially Maple trees!

I am thankful for trees today, especially our neighbor's maple trees that have graciously released plenty of leaves to fall to the ground so I could rake them up and use them in our garden to blanket our newly planted garlic... (and one of our older neighbor's appreciated that I cleared the sidewalks today of all the fallen leaves ~ however, I hear WIND is in the forecast for tomorrow = many more leaves to soon be on the ground.)

I am thankful for our beautiful young maple tree and its gorgeous color this fall. One day it shall provide the leaves we need to use in the garden...

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 14

2011-11-14T19:30:00.001-08:00

I am truly thankful for God's faithfulness. I continue to learn and grow in His Truth and discover something new each day. Today, I am reminded that there is always HOPE!

Today's devotional from Experiencing God Day by Day:

God is Faithful

He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it. 1 Thessalonians 8:24

God never calls us to do anything without faithfully keeping His word and enabling us to do it. We are not always faithful to do what God tells us, but He remains faithful and stands by His word to fulfill what He has promised (Isaiah 46:11)

When the children of Israel reached the Red Sea, they might have concluded that God had abandoned His promise to them. The sea was barring their advance, and the murderous Egyptian army was racing to overtake them! Yet God proved then, as He has ever since, that He is absolutely faithful to every word He speaks to His children.

God may have spoken to you about something in particular - a ministry in your church, the way to raise your children, or what you should do in your job. You have obeyed Him, but now you face a Red Sea experience. It seems that what you thought God wanted to accomplish is not happening. Perhaps your ministry has not been well received, or your children are rebelling, or those at your workplace are criticizing your actions. Trust in the character of God. It is His nature to be faithful. The testimony of His people throughout the ages is expressed by the psalmist, who declared: "I have been young, and now I am old;/Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken,/Nor his descendants begging bread" (Psalm 37:25).

Regardless of how bleak your present circumstances are, do not lose hope. No one has ever experienced unfaithfulness on God's part! Allow time for God to reveal His faithfulness to you. Someday you will reflect on what God has done and praise Him for His absolute faithfulness to you.

In reading today's devotional, I am overwhelmed to discover, once again, that because of His faithfulness ~ we always have HOPE!

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 13

2011-11-14T19:20:00.001-08:00

Thankful we can share delicious gluten-free food with others!

5 gf pizzas!

The Pizza Master!

Blueberry pie with vanilla almond "ice cream"

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 12

2011-11-14T17:01:00.001-08:00

So thankful for the University District Farmer's Market in Seattle and a wet, windy and chilly afternoon in Tacoma ~ Friesenburgers, Museum of Glass and Union Station.

A bag of local, organic veggies!

Enjoying his first gluten-free burger at Friesenburgers in Tacoma.

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 11

2011-11-14T16:30:00.001-08:00

Thankful for the ever-changing November weather in Seattle... From a gorgeous sunrise to very windy and quite wet to calm and a little sunshine in the early evening. Something for everyone! This was our Friday.

urban vegan: easy coconut creme brulee and coco-contest

2011-11-10T18:23:00.000-08:00

I'm so going to make this! Wanted to share the recipe with you too!

urban vegan: easy coconut creme brulee and coco-contest: Coconut-based creme brulee? What's not to like? Holidays like Thanksgiving can be stressful, especially for vegans and vegetarians who wa...

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 10

2011-11-10T17:59:00.001-08:00

So thankful to work in the garden on a GORGEOUS November day in Seattle; sunshine and 60 degrees! Finally got the cover crop seeded (we'll see if it actually grows - late planting) and the rest of our soil pile off the driveway and into the garden beds... I'm also thankful that Blaine was able to come home early to help with the garden work. We worked until after dark (not unusual for us), but got it done. Might have gotten the work done a little quicker, but a few of our neighbors stopped by to chat too.

I decided not to go with the standard crimson clover cover crop this year, but instead I planted Peaceful Valley's Organic Soil Builder Mix (make sure you purchase the inoculant too). Click on the photo to be linked to their website.

Healthier soil = healthier and more productive veggie garden next season!

My darling maple tree is growing well and wearing its beautiful fall colors.

The Sunshine blueberries have a beautiful purplish, burgundy tone to their leaves.

It was quite dark by the time we finished...

Perhaps I should ask Santa for a solar work light for the garden and/or a headlamp.

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 9

2011-11-09T20:00:00.000-08:00

I LOVE EGGNOG!

I have loved eggnog since childhood. My earliest memories of the holiday season is the excitement that we would get to enjoy eggnog! I can even remember the glasses and the taste; rich, thick and delicious! Of course, it was always topped with a sprinkle of nutmeg...

Then, in 2000, everything changed. I found out that my body didn't tolerate dairy and I could no longer enjoy eggnog with each holiday season that arrived.

Just a few years ago, I discovered Silk Nog and I was thrilled! No dairy and no eggs, but it tasted delicious and I drank ALOT of the stuff. And, my heart was happy to enjoy the "taste" of Christmas once more ~ along with gluten-free/dairy-free fudge and sugar cookies, of course.

And then, it happened. That little irritation that haunted me and I wondered if soy might be making my body unhappy. It was confirmed. No more Starbucks and my tall, soy, peppermint hot chocolate, no whip 'drinks' that I so enjoyed. And as this year's holiday season approached... no Silk Nog. I dreaded its arrival.

Until yesterday.

I made a discovery while shopping at PCC in Fremont:

God is so good! The holiday season is saved! My heart soared!

...and yes, I did a little dance in the grocery aisle when I found both of these items, which were promptly added to our shopping cart.

All was right in the world again (okay, so not everything is "right in the world"), but I was filled with thanksgiving and great joy. I grinned from ear-to-ear.

It's the little things that I'm most often thankful for. Thank you So Delicious Coconut Milk!

P.S. Not only do I get to enjoy Nog during the holidays, but I also get to enjoy mint chocolate hot cocoa... Taste the goodness and share it with your friends...

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 8

2011-11-08T11:46:00.000-08:00

So thankful for precious bloggers sharing their lives and encouraging others! Check out the right hand column of my blog and discover many talented bloggers.

Here are a few of my latest discoveries... Click on each photo to be linked to their site!

Forgotten Way Blog ~ they live in North Idaho off-the-grid

Forgotten Way Blog is having a Christmas giveaway ~ check it out!

Past Blessings blog ~ located in Spokane, WA (my hometown)

Dandelion House

Fall garden update

2011-11-08T11:25:00.000-08:00

The garden has been desperately neglected and there is much to be done before the winter weather arrives. We finally managed to get one section of grass covered with newspaper and tarps. So hoping this will "kill" the grass and compost into the ground; freeing us from having to dig out sod next spring. We still have other sections to get down...

...and we finally got our garlic planted! Spaced every 6 inches on both sides of the asparagus bed; 3 varieties ~ Georgian Fire, Thurston and Polish. I love to see Blaine excited about planting seed in the garden... (He loves garlic!) Thanks for the garlic seed, Steve!

I did learn that, optimally, one should plant garlic by the dark of the moon in October, 1-6 inches deep; 6 inches apart. However, last year I planted in early December and it worked out quite well. This year, I had planned to plant according to what I had learned, but it didn't happen ~ planted at the first quarter of the moon in early November. We'll see what happens....

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 7

2011-11-08T10:50:00.000-08:00

So thankful for Autumn's simple and amazing beauty! Fall is such a special time of year...

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 6

2011-11-08T10:35:00.000-08:00

So THANKFUL for the end of daylight savings time and being able to make Swedish Pancakes for Nicholas for dinner (he's been sick all weekend)...

Click on bottom photo for recipe link.

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 5

2011-11-08T10:16:00.001-08:00

Blaine and I painted for just over 10 hours on Saturday (2 treatment rooms done at the chiropractor) and my body has been pushed to physical exhaustion painting for nearly 30 hours over the past week. Thankfully, we're done painting until after the holidays. Now, I really need to catch up on daily life...

Classical King FM 98.1 is now listener supported and Blaine and I are members. When I'm working, I love to listen to classical music. I am so thankful for the beautiful music they share plus live local broadcasts. Saturday night, I couldn't attend Pacific Northwest Ballet's Love Stories ~ but I delighted in listening to the PNB orchestra play beautiful music that transported me to McCaw Hall. You can listen to the wonderful music they share too. Click on the photo below!

PNB orchestra in the pit! Click on photo to read about their new musical director.

... and, of course, I couldn't have listened to this awesome music without my little iPod that has radio
(Christmas 2009 gift from the greatest guys I know ~ Blaine, Benjamin and Nicholas!)

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 4

2011-11-04T20:59:00.000-07:00

Healer: One who attempts to restore to health or soundness.

I am thankful for my naturopath, Susan Jones at One Earth Natural Medicine. She is an answer to prayer. She is my partner in my healing journey. She has brought more healing into my life than any other practitioner that I've encountered in my lifetime. For this, I am so thankful!

Click on the photo for "healing" Bible verses

One of my favorites:

"Those who wait upon (hope in) the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

And I begin to understand a little more His healing in my life...

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 3

2011-11-03T10:28:00.000-07:00

There are days when my heart overflows with thankfulness, as unexpected blessings come into my life. Yesterday was one of those days...

The Herbalist had a sale yesterday and after making my purchase, I received this herbal guide as a gift. After loading my groceries into the car at PCC, a "street guy" offered me this flower woven out of New Zealand flax wishing me much happiness.

Traffic may have been really backed up and slow on the viaduct, but it gave me the opportunity to capture this beautiful image of Mt. Rainer. Such a gift to see this awesome creation on the drive southbound...

One of the fire boats in Elliot Bay.

A display for all those drivers slowly moving southbound on the viaduct (even if it wasn't its true purpose). Made me smile.

Mt. Rainier is a lovely companion on the drive home when the weather is clear (getting closer to home in this picture). I never tire of its beauty nor take for granted that I see it often. So in awe of His majesty!

At the end of my day, a friend posted this below (from "Aura of the soul" on facebook). Picture and words of great beauty. My heart rejoiced. I am so thankful, for when I open my eyes to see and my heart to receive ~ I realize how God touches my life, daily, in so many precious ways.

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 2

2011-11-02T21:28:00.000-07:00

We are blessed to be a blessing to others.

I am not a professional, but I enjoy painting. Our chiropractor asked if I'd be interested in painting the interior of his clinic ~ as a trade-of-service agreement. I said, "sure." Last weekend, Blaine and I began painting. 4 treatment rooms and the massage room. Saturday we spent 9 hours painting all the ceilings. On Sunday, we spent 12 hours painting the massage room and two of the treatment rooms. I was utterly physically and mentally exhausted. I really didn't think I could do it. Blaine was a great encouragement and God enabled me to do what I couldn't do on my own. Today, I was rewarded with a huge smile from our chiropractor. He was so happy with what we'd painted, so far. I felt his joy and that was a precious gift. I am so thankful we could bless another by simply painting...

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 1

2011-11-02T18:56:00.000-07:00

So I should have had it all together and posted this yesterday, but I didn't... I'm not going to let that be a stumbling block to me. I am thankful I can let that go and move forward.

Day 1: I am truly thankful for a loving, supportive and encouraging husband. We've known each other since 7th grade and it's been an amazing journey to grow, learn and go through so much of life together... And today, we're not only husband and wife, but we're also best friends. This is a precious gift for me.

30 Days of Thanksgiving

2011-11-02T18:24:00.001-07:00

It's November ~ a season of Thanksgiving! A time to pause and reflect on what we are thankful for... And, it's that time of year for 30 Days of thanksgiving. I began reading Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts and wanted to join her dare to Live Fully right where I am. Earlier this year, I began creating my own "one thousand gifts" list, but became side-tracked. So, with a season of thankfulness before me ~ I am hoping this is a great starting place and I will keep it going. Each day I will be posting throughout November and hope to include a photograph, as well. Won't you join me too? Whether on your own blog, facebook, or a private journal ~ allow your heart to be thankful for today; right where you are.

Click on the image to visit her site

Nosy Neighbor Virtual Garden Tour

2011-08-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

Hilltop view of our edible garden!

Our berry "wall" is along the fence line. Boysenberry, Black raspberry, Meeker raspberry, Anne golden raspberry, Black Pearl Blackberry and Marionberry (to be planted for next season). We have a rhubarb bed (2 plants) and 2 dedicated strawberry beds plus an asparagus bed. In addition, we have 5 rotating veggie/herb beds - with plans for 3 more in the backyard.

Erica at Northwest Edible Life thought it would be fun to host a virtual homestead/garden tour, so we could share with others and see what others are doing too. What fun! Make sure you stop by Erica's place to see all the gardens on this tour.

We purchased our home 5 years ago and there were more than 100 rose plants (and an assortment of other plants/shrubs) in the yard, which were chemically grown; roses sprayed every 3, 5, 7 and 14 days (yes, 4 different chemicals). Well, the roses are gone (I'm a daisy, country-lovin' girl), we've been working to bring healthy (organic) life to our soil and we're slowly building an urban homestead! It's a really busy time for us right now. Thanks for taking time to stop by...

Mid-summer is a busy harvest time in the garden

Hanging our first crop of hard-neck garlic in the garage

Yay! Now to let them cure for a few weeks.

With the cooler temps in Seattle this year, we decided to plant the tomatoes in containers and place them on the south side of our house; which is our driveway. Every little bit of extra heat will help them ripen.

Brussel sprouts! Come November, we will be eating these.

Our broccoli has struggled this year - maybe I crowded these guys though.
Grew awesome cabbage right next to them...

Each summer, I manage to work by "moonlight" at least once...

Well, it was a new moon on Friday evening, so no moonlight - but Blaine and I prevailed in raising one of the strawberry beds until 11:30 pm (and we are so very thankful for flashlights and outside lighting)...

Carrots have been slow for us this year...

This little bird is residing in our garden now...
He or she is injured, is getting stronger and seems to enjoy rehab at our place.
Even the neighbor's cats are letting him be.

Artichokes!

Saturday evening harvest

Invicta gooseberries

Made the best pie ever with these!

Evergreen Huckleberry

Blaine and I both have low back problems and we decided the strawberry beds had to be raised 12 inches, so we could kneel next to the beds to weed and harvest berries!

Yes, Blaine really did measure out each planting spot!

Replanting one of our strawberry beds.

Harvesting golden beets for Sunday dinner

Yum!

Another recent harvest... So thankful!

Favorite find for the garden this summer!

Darby and Phoebe Huffman - Pottery
Some Sundays you can find Darby at the Ballard Farmer's Market

Bush beans are producing!

Spanish lavender ~ so pretty!

Kohlrabi

Spaghetti squash

Asparagus ferns with Brussel sprouts in the background...

With our cool, wet spring into summer ~ we are so thankful our pole green beans are blooming!

Sunday project completed!

Anne golden raspberry.

Yes, you will be amazed at the taste and then you'll want to plant a few canes in your own garden...

Black Pearl Blackberry

Blueberries, Alaskan cranberry and gooseberries

Front yard needs MUCH rehab still... one day it will be an edible garden area.

Sunshine Blueberry

Still waiting for them to ripen

Misty Blueberry

Harvest has begun

Midoriboshi Hydrangea

Rosemary (my favorite), summery savory and sage

We make Christmas goodies to share with all our neighbors and this spring, a neighbor shared her Dahlia's with us! Delightful and a precious gift in our garden...

Nasturtium and squash blossom

Pole green beans on trellis pole

Green bean blossoms

Vanilla Strawberry hydrangea

Close-up! Love these little blossoms

Sugar snap peas on a chicken wire trellis

Space in the right corner of the picture will be planted with a marionberry next spring.
View of both strawberry beds, raised 12 inches...

The hillside we're still taming. Planted red osier dogwoods and creeping thyme.
Much to do still - including removing the locust trees.

Once the locust trees are down and these stumps removed, we can begin work on the garden shed, greenhouse, chicken coop and orchard.

Our garden plans are ever-changing. We aren't planting a fall/winter garden, as we've decided to raise the vegetable beds up another 6 inches - so we'll green manure the beds with crimson clover, continue to work on grass removal of the garden paths (and plant more low growing clover mix from Peaceful Valley), and hopefully, make a little more progress on expanding next year's garden.

Thanks for stopping by our garden!

Gooseberry-Blackberry-Blueberry Streusel Pie (gfdf)

2011-07-28T21:23:00.000-07:00

Our garden is bursting with fruits and vegetables right now and I am blessed with my first gooseberry harvest! I discovered gooseberry pie at Marie Callender's restaurant and have been in love with them ever since - but it's not easy to find this pie. I jumped at the chance to grow my own berries (despite a garden hotline person telling me I wouldn't be successful in doing so).

I attended a facebook Pie Party a few weeks ago and I discovered a recipe that I had to try plus I grew all three berries in our garden!

For the original version, please visit Debbie's blog here. If you have no food restrictions, try her recipe. Great job Debbie!

Here's my gluten-free, dairy-free adaptation.

Gooseberry-Blackberry-Blueberry Streusel Pie

My pie crust recipe can be found here.

For the filling:
1 cup organic cane sugar
3 Tablespoons arrowroot powder
2 Tablespoons fresh lemon juice
2 cups gooseberries
2 cups blackberries
1 cup blueberries
OR (combination) of 5 cups assorted fresh berries; rinsed and dried

For the topping:
6 Tablespoons golden brown sugar
6 Tablespoons raw pecan pieces
6 Tablespoons Earth Balance buttery sticks, cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1/4 cup gluten-free old-fashioned oats
1/4 cup Bob's Red Mill GF All Purpose Baking Flour

**You'll want your favorite vanilla ice cream in the freezer. Mine is Almond Dream.

Make up my pie crust recipe (or your own favorite recipe). Using about 2/3 of the dough, roll it out and place it in a glass deep dish pie plate. Flute the edges, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes. *I did this following the original directions, but I have no idea why it's chilled.

*My gooseberries are fresh, but my blackberries and blueberries are from last season and were frozen. I measured out the frozen fruit and placed them in a bowl to thaw for a few hours. Once thawed, I added the gooseberries and mixed gently.

Turn the oven on to 400 degrees F. In a large bowl combine the sugar, arrowroot and lemon juice. It makes a thick paste. Add to berries and mix gently. *The paste won't disperse fully, so don't worry about it. Let this sit while you prepare the topping.

Put all the topping ingredients into the bowl of your food processor. Whir them until combined and no flour is visible. Mine was pretty sticky.

Pour berry mixture into pie crust and distribute evenly. You really need to use your hands to drop the little bits of the topping mixture, so know they are going to get messy. Drop small bits of the topping mixture all over the berry mixture.

Place a baking sheet on the lower rack of your oven (to catch berry juice overflow). Place your pie on the top rack and bake for 45 - 50 minutes. When the crust is golden, the topping browned and the berries bubbling - it's done!

Let cool for a couple of hours before cutting. Add a scoop or two of your favorite vanilla ice cream and enjoy! We loved it.

Ready for the oven!

It looks and smells wonderful!

ENJOY!

Frustrated!

2011-07-25T12:24:00.000-07:00

I. AM. FRUSTRATED.

My schedule is just not in a good rhythm. I know what I want to do, but I just can't seem to get there. I love spring and summer, but never feel "right" when daylight savings time arrives. While I don't want to wish this season away, I feel so much better when it's normal time. However, our government has decided that the more they control the hours of light in a day, the better. Really? Maybe it's not the silly time change, maybe it's something else entirely.

My eating pattern is off.

Numerous projects need my attention (and I want to give it), but I am easily distracted.

My energy level is low; tired often.

My upper back, neck, low back and hips are tight and painful. Which doesn't help with the distraction issue.

My thoughts are all over the place. I need to focus!

I wake up with a "plan of attack" and accomplish little.

I want to spend extended time in the garden, but it's a bit here and there instead.

HOW DO I FIX THIS? I have no idea, but I'm hoping things improve SOON.

God is still here!

2011-07-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

Over the past year or so, God has brought a friend from high school back into my life. Her faith is strong and she shares His Truth powerfully. I am so thankful for her. Today, I discovered a message I needed to hear posted on her facebook wall... And, I knew I needed to share it with you here. Thank you JoAnna! You are a blessing.

For all the broken-hearted, God is still here.

For all those who see only darkness, God is still here.

For all those who believe He has abandoned you, God is still here.

He never left you and He never will. Reach up and reach out and you will find a peace you have never known before.

Philippians 4:7

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Don't ever let man's response to you keep you away from Him. God is still here.

God loves you in spite of yourself. He loves you on your best days and He loves you even more on your worst.

Romans 8:38-39

"For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Oh, how He loves you and me.

Addicted...

2011-07-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am. We all have "issues" to deal with - we're all human and life involves pain and joy. Troubles and triumphs. For so many years, I've tried to keep it all together. But, I can't do it anymore. In the past couple of years, events occurred in our lives that caused me to come to a place where I had to face "issues" in my life or they would consume me... I've decided to face them. And thankfully I'm not going through this alone. Others are going through their own healing journeys and while our circumstances are not the same, I am strengthened and encouraged to acknowledge the areas in my own life that have held me captive.

I am addicted to APPROVAL and ACCEPTANCE and
I have a horrible FEAR of FAILURE!

And, over the years it has caused me to make decisions or commit my time to people or activities that caused others to be sacrificed. Even though I thought I was doing good and helping many, I sacrificed my own family too often. Yes, "we" were all involved in activities together, but family time and vacations didn't happen - because time and money were invested in the activities. Or there was busy preparation time. Or training or a meeting to attend to. There were things I wanted to do growing up that I wasn't able to do and I was determined that our children would always be able to do the things they wanted to ~ and they did, but it wasn't necessarily a healthy balance for the whole family. In addition, being gripped by FEAR there were activities or people that I didn't want our children to be involved with. So, there were excuses and reasons why they couldn't go somewhere or be with some people. I was too afraid something might happen to them and I couldn't protect them. I wish I would have allowed them to take more chances. But, I didn't know it then. I am grieving over things we lost together. And, I'm thankful for, and remind myself of, God's grace in the midst of it all - for I can see how He has blessed our children and family in spite of my own complicated "story" that affected us all.

There. I said it. And, it's true. Once I made the discovery, I knew it was who I am. And, I'm incredible thankful for Sarah Ferguson for sharing her journey on OWN. I don't care what your thoughts are of her (or me, actually). I've learned that my judgements of others (and their actions) are not always accurate. And people's judgements of me aren't always right on either. I find Sarah, Duchess of York, to be a real person. Yes, she's made lots of mistakes and has regrets in her life. So have I. But, she hasn't given up. She keeps trying. She's determined to discover who she is and to heal, so she can live wholly and be set free from what holds her captive. I am seeking the same for my life.

Today, I am walking this healing journey and it's extremely difficult. I want to give up almost daily. I often fall back into the same patterns and then "beat myself up" for not being stronger and overcoming.

Add to this emotional eating. I use food to deal with stress and to comfort me ~ especially sugar (cookies, ice cream, chocolate) and salty foods (chips). And, when I remove these foods - my body goes through a significant withdrawal. If I keep these foods out of my diet, I feel a lot better. But just a few bites draws me in and it's difficult to stop eating... I'm trying to learn new tools to deal with stress in my life. And, I'm trying to extend myself GRACE when I fall short.

When you're dealing with addiction to approval and acceptance and a fear of failure coupled with emotional eating ~ it creates a real mess! I've always tried to make everyone happy and I don't want to let anyone down. I can see now that it's really unhealthy to live this way. It's not humanly possible to do. I need to focus on knowing that God accepts me for who I am and I need to accept myself. I will fail in this life. I have failed. I will fail again. I am human and every fails at some point in their life. Some fail more than others. It's okay. I know that I've never intentionally tried to hurt others or intentionally failed them, but I have fallen short. I have wounded other people. I have failed. It is painful to know this, but I must continue to learn and grow and transform my life - letting go of what has held me captive and seek healing.

So... this is where I am today. Taking one day at a time. A few steps forward, a few steps back. Making progress, learning from failures, healing the "lenses" through which I see the world and people around me, continuing to process the "hows" and "whys" of who I am and how I got to this place. Some days, I feel paralyzed and nothing gets done. I have been tortured by these days. Recently, someone I love and is a blessing in my life, shared that my body is trying to heal and it can't give out energy - but needs to reserve all it can to help heal me inside. I'm trying not to struggle on those days now, but allow healing to occur. My creativity has crashed. My naturopath has given me some flower essences to support my body in the areas it needs. They are helpful and I have times that I feel "inspired" again. One day, I know it will fully return. There are things I'd like to do in my life..., but today I'm taking one day at a time and believing HEALING will come and I will overcome my addictions. God is good.

GF Coconut Cream Pie

2011-07-20T08:50:00.000-07:00

Our oldest son's 24th birthday was approaching and he requested a Coconut Cream pie. Okay. I can do that ~ except I've never made one before. I did some research and found this recipe. I read some of the comments about how others tweaked the recipe and came up with this:

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups whole coconut milk (1 can)
1 1/2 cups half 'n half
3 egg yolks
3/4 cup organic cane sugar
1/2 cup cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup sweetened coconut flakes, toasted
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 (9inch) pie shell, baked - recipe here

Topping:

1 cup Heavy whipping cream
3 Tablespoons powdered sugar
1 teaspoon coconut extract

Prepare pie crust and roll out in a deep dish pie pan. Cut parchment paper and press gently into dough. Fill with rice to weight down parchment paper and keep dough from bubbling while it bakes. Bake at 350 until golden brown.

While pie crust is baking, toast coconut.

To toast coconut: spread in an ungreased pan and bake in a 350 degree oven for 5 to 7 minutes or until golden brown, stirring occasionally.

Set coconut aside with vanilla extract and prepare custard filling.

Once pie crust is baked, allow to cool while you make custard.

In a medium saucepan, combine milks, egg yolks, sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Bring to a boil over low heat, stirring constantly. Remove from heat and stir in 3/4 cup of the coconut and the vanilla extract. Pour into pie shell and chill 2 to 4 hours or until firm.

Top with whipped topping. *Combine ingredients and whip until thickened. After spreading on top of pie, sprinkle remaining 1/4 cup of coconut on top.

Chill and serve!

Happy Birthday Benjamin!

Strawberry Cupcakes revisited

2011-07-12T08:25:00.000-07:00

Wanting more variety of ingredients and less potato starch, I played with the strawberry cupcake recipe I recently posted. This recipe is a definite improvement and won approval by family members. Sharing with neighbors later today...

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

This recipe makes 16 cupcakes. You will want to line your muffin tin with paper liners.

In a mixing bowl, whisk together the dry ingredients:

1/2 cup sorghum flour
1/4 cup brown rice flour
1/4 cup potato starch
1/2 cup cornstarch
3/4 organic cane sugar
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons xanthan gum

Add in:

2 tablespoons sunflower oil
1 tablespoon honey
1 cup "squished" fresh organic strawberries (about 2+ cups whole, cleaned strawberries)
2 eggs
2 teaspoons organic vanilla extract

Beat on medium speed until batter is smooth and fluffy. Evenly distribute batter between the 16 paper-lined cups. Let batter rest for a few minutes and then bake in preheated oven for 20-25 minutes until golden and firm. It's better to leave oven door closed during baking, so cupcakes don't fall. They should be tender and springy. Remove from tins and onto cooling rack immediately. When cooled, frost with recipe below:

In a mixing bowl:
1/2 cup Spectrum organic shortening
1 teaspoon organic vanilla extract
2+ Tablespoons "squished" strawberries
2 cups organic powdered sugar

Beat on medium high until frosting is smooth and creamy. If not spreadable, add a little more squished strawberry juice. Enjoy!

*You can frost these cupcakes and then store in an air tight container in the freezer. Take out how many you need, thaw for a short time and they're ready to serve.

Seattle Tilth's Chicken Coop/Urban Farm Tour

2011-07-12T07:30:00.000-07:00

Loved this espalier apple fence in Ballard

Nothing says "garden" like a picket fence...

Charming chicken coop

Loved the decorating details!

Cottage garden details...

Creative gate idea...

A Buff Orpington wanders through a garden.

Most chicken keepers said your coop needs to include one of these...

La Mancha goats in a city backyard, which is legal - but after visiting 3 homes with goats on the tour, I'm now wondering whether this is really a good idea... I understand why people are keeping them, but is it really a "good neighbor" thing to do?

Wonderful outdoor "kitchen" space

Loved this fence idea (with the pipe) ~ would keep the neighbor children's balls out of our yard and make a stronger fence (that, hopefully, their balls would not damage), but is it too contemporary for me?

Like the old band saw on this coop

Creative with their garden space in Seattle ~ beehives on the roof of their house...

One of my favorite urban farms on the tour: City Art Farm

They have Pygora goats - a cross between a pygmy and angora. Great fiber animal, but I'm still trying to understand having a male goat in the city... Female I can understand more, but they have to be bred for milk production. Still wrestling with what's a good balance of sustainability and urban living.

Hollyhocks and artichokes ~ garden beauty!

Cord wood construction for their predator proof chicken coop = interesting!

Loved how they incorporated glass bottles for perches in their design. Very funky!

An annual event in Seattle. Second Saturday of July. Mark your calendars for next year and be inspired... Happy Urban Farming!

Strawberry cupcakes!

2011-07-05T15:10:00.000-07:00

Inspired by the Fourth of July and strawberry season, I decided to work with a recipe that has been successful for me in the past - but was designed for oranges.

More than a year ago, I discovered the Gluten-Free Goddess' blog and fell in love with her Orange Creme Cupcakes. I've made her recipe many times and they are always fabulous! I frost and freeze them and get out what I need to serve. I've also made them for a wedding reception. Today, I've used her recipe and adapted it for these strawberry cupcakes... YUM!

Strawberry cupcakes

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. This recipe makes 16 cupcakes. I use 2 muffin tins and put paper liners in 8 spots in each tin.

In a mixing bowl, whisk together the dry ingredients:

3/4 cup sorghum flour
3/4 cup potato starch
3/4 cup organic cane sugar
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons xanthan gum

Add in:
2 Tablespoons sunflower oil
1 Tablespoon raw (local) honey
*1 cup crushed, fresh organic strawberries (you need to have a 1 cup liquid measure of strawberry juice when done crushing them)
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons organic vanilla

Beat on medium speed until the batter is smooth. Spoon the batter evenly between the 16 paper liners. Bake in your preheated oven for 20-25 minutes (mine took about 22 minutes last night) until golden and firm (should be slightly tender still). Try not to open the door to peek (use your oven light to look at them if you've got to see how they're doing) until the very end of the baking time. These cupcakes rise high and then settle down. Remove from oven, let cool 5 minutes and then remove from muffin tins and cool completely on wire rack. (I actually take mine from the muffin tin as soon as they come out of the oven.) When cooled completely, frost and enjoy!

Strawberry creme frosting:

In a mixing bowl beat:
1/4 cup Spectrum organic shortening
1 teaspoon organic vanilla
2 Tablespoon crushed, fresh organic strawberries (Again - you must get the measure listed).
2 cups powdered sugar
Hemp milk

Put all ingredients - except the hemp milk - into a bowl and beat on medium to medium-high until frosting is well mixed (will probably appear somewhat chunky and not smooth). Add just a little hemp milk (may not even be a teaspoon) and beat again. You want a frosting that is just workable (through a piping bag) and not runny... I love my Wilton cupcake tip and in just a few minutes, the cupcakes are done and ready to eat OR freeze until you need them!

Personal note: Karina's recipe has never let me down, but now that I know I can substitute other fruits in for the oranges - I'll begin tweaking the recipe more, as I'd like the cupcakes to not be all sorghum and potato starch... The frosting recipe will not frost 16 cupcakes - a stretch to get 14 done. Also, it's pretty sweet and I'll probably play with adding a little more shortening to balance it out.

You're going to have to get your hands dirty to make this recipe. Wash hands - strawberries should be rinsed and hulled. Place in a glass liquid measuring cup (2 cup size would be good so you have space to squish) and squish by hand. Squish the strawberries as much as possible to get maximum juice. You don't want large chunks of strawberry either. And remember, you'll need 2 Tablespoons of strawberry juice for the frosting...

Strawberry cupcakes. ENJOY!

In celebration of PIE PARTY DAY!

2011-07-05T08:59:00.000-07:00

Shauna Ahern, the Gluten-Free Girl, created an event and declared July 5th would be Pie Party Day! Make a pie, take a photo and post it on faceb ook. If you have a blog, post the recipe too. Word spread fast and many people are joining in.

I've been wheat-free since 2000 and gluten-free since 2009. I've been making gluten-free pie since 2000. I LOVE pie and cannot imagine life without pie! It's a favorite dessert in our home and one we enjoy sharing with family and friends. And, it's even more joyful when people love the pies I make, even though they don't have to eat gluten-free. Best compliment a girl can get: "Wow! This is better than a regular pie crust." Awwwwwww, thanks!

Gluten-free crusts can be fussy to deal with and most recipes call for you to refrigerate the dough (even the recipe I use), but I don't chill mine anymore. If the weather is especially warm, I just don't thaw the "butter" stick I'm using - which is Earth Balance in my kitchen. If I used all Spectrum shortening (they offer "butter" flavor now) - it might require a short chill.

Oh how I love making gluten-free pies!

Sunday was our youngest son's 19th birthday and he requested strawberry rhubarb pie. One of his favorites! This is a frustrating and delicious pie. With gluten-free, juicy pies can be challenging in getting the fruit filling to set. I've had great "failures" with this pie and am still tweaking the recipe. This weekend's version set quite well and I'm pleased.

The traditional way of making pie filling - fruit and add the sugar and some type of "flour". Mix and put in the pie crust... For me, this hasn't worked so well for my strawberry rhubarb pie in the past.

Last time I made this recipe, it overflowed and was super juicy...

... and I mean SUPER JUICY. Ugh. So, I've tweaked the recipe.

My gluten-free, dairy-free pie crust recipe is here.

For this recipe, you will want to have your crust ready for the filling, cover with top crust and pop into oven - fairly quickly. Keep both pie dough layers covered with cellophane, so they don't dry out while you prepare the filling. You'll want the bottom crust to be in the pie pan (I use a standard glass pie plate).

Strawberry Rhubarb Pie

4 cups rhubarb, diced* (frozen, thawed)
2 cups strawberries, sliced (fresh)
1 1/3 cups sugar (I use organic cane sugar)
1/3-1/2 cup tapioca flour (or 1/4 cup cornstarch)
1 tsp lemon juice (optional)
1/4 tsp cinnamon
approx 1/3 cup liquid from thawed rhubarb

* We grow our own rhubarb, blanch it and freeze it in 4 cup measures - ready for pie. I thawed the rhubarb in a bowl (and used the liquid in preparing the filling).

FILLING:

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

After draining rhubarb liquid into a liquid measuring cup, combine rhubarb and strawberries in a bowl.

Combine sugar, tapioca starch/flour (or cornstarch, if you prefer), cinnamon and rhubarb liquid in a small saucepan. Over medium to medium high heat, stirring constantly, heat until thickened or if it begins to boil; remove from heat. If thickened, add to fruit mixture and mix well. If it doesn't thicken well, add additional tapioca flour and whisk in. Stir and cool slightly. Add to fruit mixture and mix well.

Note: When I made pie this weekend, I started with 1/3 cup tapioca flour, but it didn't thicken as I would have liked it too. Ending up whisking in more tapioca flour (bringing it to the 1/2 cup measure). Addition was done off the stove - no additional heating.

If the cooked filling thickened well, you'll need to work fairly quickly - because you're mixing it with the fruits and pouring into the bottom crust, drizzle lemon juice over the filling (if adding), covering with the top crust, fluting the edges and adding steam vents plus getting it into the oven to bake. The warm liquid will begin to interact with the pie dough and you don't want it to do so for very long before the actual baking process begins.

If you're new to this, I would advise you to allow the liquid to cool a bit so you don't feel stressed. When I made pie this weekend, the liquid was cooled a bit as it hadn't gotten as thick as I desired; giving me time to work with putting the whole pie together.

Once it's all together, bake at 425 for 15 minutes, reduce heat to 350 degrees and bake an additional 25 minutes or until crust is golden brown.

Grab your favorite ice cream, add a scoop and ENJOY!

Gluten-free recipes shared by others:

Strawberry Blueberry
Apricot Cherry Slab Pie
Mixed Berry and Lemon Verbena Pie
Lemon Meringue
Raspberry Lime Pie
Raspberry, Pear and Almond Crostata
Strawberry Rhubarb (crumble top)
Blackberry Pie (included this recipe, because you can make a gf crust)
Raspberry Cream Pie
Margarita Pie
Blackberry Pie
Easy Strawberry Blueberry Pie
Rustic Rosemary Blueberry Pie
Peach Gujiya (would need to play with the dough recipe to make it gf)
Peach Pie
Peach and Plum Pie
Apricot Blackberry Pie (mostly raw, vegan)
Goose-Black-Blueberry Streusel Pie (needs a little tweaking to be gf, but very close)

Nicholas' birthday and more garden work...

2011-07-03T22:04:00.000-07:00

Can hardly believe our youngest child turned 19 today! Who gave him permission to grow up?

Strawberry rhubarb pie

(The fruit was grown in our garden - yay!)

Abundant blessings today and the year ahead!

I love you, Little Buddy!

At the end of a long day's work in the garden...

Don't like to use peat moss, but really felt the huckleberries and blueberries needed an extra boost after last year's frigid weather. Also added compost to all the front and side areas. Pulled weeds and removed everbearing strawberries (can't get them to produce sweet fruit). Planted osteospermums in the deck garden boxes.

The front garden beds took a hit last winter with the extra cold weather, so removed that which did not survive well and I'm transitioning the space to mostly herbs.
Planted rosemary, summer savory, hyssop and lavender today.

Alot of work to do for this herb area... Orange thyme and rosemary here.

Fresh covering of compost.

Love daisy flowers just outside our bedroom!

Garden update...

2011-07-02T20:17:00.000-07:00

Time to make another batch of strawberry jam + Nicholas' strawberry rhubarb pie for his birthday tomorrow!

Our FIRST raspberry!

Cauliflower heads are forming... Love seeing them all nestled in their green beds!

Yes, we have beets this year!

Close up of the re-strung green bean trellis.
Hoping whatever critter destroyed our first one will not return again...

The squash bed is spilling over... Maybe I planted a few too many in the space?
And, the sugar snap peas at the head of this bed are blooming!

We finally got the trellis system set up for the boysenberry and black raspberry!

Blaine harvesting the garlic scapes...

Pile o' garlic scapes!

If you look really closely, you'll see one of our asparagus gone to seed! Pretty.
Click on the photo to see it bigger!

Mystery plant ~ received an unmarked seed packet from Seeds of Change... Anyone?

*Update: We have determined this is a mustard green.

Another view of the green bean trellis

And finally... Three slightly different views of the garden from up on the hill.
I couldn't decide which one I liked best.

Happy Gardening!

Another gift...

2011-07-01T16:56:00.000-07:00

Made a coffee/lunch date with a friend and chose Green Bean Coffeehouse in Greenwood! (Click on the picture to visit their website.)

*They had a quinoa pilaf (gluten-free) that was fabulous and I loved having my iced chamomile tea (sweet remembrance of when I worked for the chamber of commerce).

I loved their old location, but their new location is absolutely wonderful...
I think I'll be visiting there again and again and again.

Getting to spend time with our dear friend, Ann, was a precious gift to my day!

One Thousand Gifts

2011-07-01T07:53:00.000-07:00

Dainty Chamomile Flowers and Maple Tree outside my window...
A precious gift from God for me.

So thankful a dear friend recommended this book to me. Ann has a special way of sharing her faith journey. It's a hard read. It's a good read. You may not be able to read it in a sitting. More likely you will read and absorb for a time, take a break, pick it up again, set it down - but you will want to keep going. You can also read her ongoing story at A Holy Experience.

There are days when I love reading her blog and others days when my own journey causes me to be irritated by her "wonderful life" and "blessed perspective" and then I remind myself that my own journey is tinting how I see the world around me and some day, that will be me too. So thankful others have gone before me...

I DARE YOU!

Write down your own list of One Thousand Gifts... You'll be amazed!

Failing...

2011-06-30T21:14:00.000-07:00

I have a terrible "fear of failure". It's become almost paralyzing. It has prevented me from taking risks, following my dreams and sometimes just functioning in daily life. It's been a companion for too many years... Actually, I think it's been riding around on my back and I cannot shake it off!

I've always felt that I have to be perfect, can't mess up, no wasting ingredients or materials or people's time. When I do fall short, I remind myself, "See you are a failure. You can't do anything right." Sometimes it's over the smallest, most insignificant thing too.

For a number of years in our marriage, Blaine had to deal with me (and our children too, I guess) that I would freak out if my pies didn't turn out perfectly for holiday celebrations. Any part of the meal, actually. And I mean - major meltdown. No one else knew. Probably, no one else really cared if it was perfect or not, but I felt like I had failed. Even if everyone had a wonderful time and enjoyed all the food. *Of course, then I "beat myself up" about getting worked up over nothing...

I know I should have allowed our children to fail. I didn't let that happen though. I'd go the extra mile, enable them to accomplish what needed to get done. I think I was afraid to let them fail, because I might fall apart or people would think less of me... I wish I would have let them fail, work through it and be stronger people because of it. I can't change that, but I am working on changing me and sharing my healing journey on my blog.

Today, I saw my naturopath and through this journey I have been learning more about myself and what is causing my body to be chronically ill. The answers have been surprising and sometimes ~ shocking. I shared about my fear of failure, because I haven't handled it well lately. Blaine allowed me to make a batch of strawberry jam - by myself - and I was second-guessing myself the entire time; asking him if I was doing it correctly and felt that I fell short when one jar didn't seal properly. (Which really isn't a big deal, because it could go in the fridge and be used by us now...) I've been making jam for years! This shouldn't even be an issue. What in the world is going on?

I also found a recipe for strawberry rhubarb coconut milk ice cream and made it last week. The recipe was a total failure - taste was not good... I was so upset, because I had wasted strawberries, rhubarb and coconut milk. Even though Blaine tried to reassure me that it was okay to have something not turn out, I felt defeated and haven't tried making ice cream since... (Yes, I am going to make ice cream this weekend. I can't let it overwhelm me.)

So..... after sharing all this at my appointment today (which might seem odd at a "medical appointment"), my doctor was so thankful, because she's beginning to discover more of the root cause of what is making me sick. AND ~ part of my treatment plan today: mess up something you're working on - allow it to be less than perfect - and realize that it's okay; maybe even laugh about it. This is going to take some time. Some effort on my part. But, I know it's critical in taking steps to freeing me from the bondage of "fear of failure".

I began working on this tonight. Blaine told me I could make Swedish Pancakes (crepes) for dinner. Not an easy gluten-free task... He always makes them. I don't like to be compared to others. But I made them and here's how I did.

Gathered all the ingredients

Recipe from Living Without magazine that we have "tweaked" just slightly.
*I decided to use brown rice flour instead of white (a risk I took, as I follow recipes exactly)

To make: Combine all ingredients in a food processor and blend until smooth. Do not overmix or batter will become foamy. Pour batter into a pitcher, cover and refrigerate for 30 minutes to 3 hours (We don't chill our batter...)

Oil 10" skillet and place over medium heat. We use a gravy ladle and it's 2-3 scoops; swirling the batter around the skillet.

Proof that I did make the recipe

Adding batter to the pan

As the edges "brown", loosen the edges and when middle looks bubbly, flip over.

*My first attempt crashed and did not turn out.

Beautiful!

Blaine cooked bacon for us...
And, Nicholas and I enjoyed our Swedish Pancakes!

*You never know if you're going to have a batch that sticks to the pan alot or if it's going to be easy and they are turn out really well. Tonight's risk of failure experiment went well. This is the first of many experiments to come...

You and Me: So Happy Together!

2011-06-26T15:54:00.000-07:00

We've been through alot, Blaine and I.

We celebrated 25 years of marriage last December, we home educated our children (and our youngest graduated last June), Blaine worked (alot - so our children could be involved in various activities) and traveled for the company while the children were growing up, we've dealt with my ongoing health issues, and we're still working through changes in our lives and healing as we strive to not just get through each day, but to fully live...

And, in May ~ we decided to make some decisions about us. No one else. Just us.

We purchased a new car, a trailer hitch, a bike rack and new bicycles. It's been a longer process than expected waiting for our car to arrive, getting our bikes and being ready to "hit the trail". Well, everything has finally arrived, we're equipped (to get started) and we are beginning a new chapter; a new season in our lives... We're really excited!

Today we went on our first bike ride together. A gorgeous sunny Sunday morning in Seattle at Alki. And, Blaine taught me how to put the bike rack on our car, to load the bikes and remove the rack... It was a great start to a new season in our lives together!

Reflections...

2011-06-18T15:14:00.000-07:00

The past 2 years brought into our lives the greatest sorrows and pain and times of great joy followed by more pain and disappointment. Why? I've asked that question a thousand times or more, but I know there will never be an answer following that word slipping off the end of my tongue.

While each person in our family is an individual, we were a tight family unit too. We did alot together; education, ministry and extracurricular activities. I wanted my family to be what I had always hoped my family (growing up) would be. And, for many years, it did seem like we had achieved it.

But, life can change in a moment. One person makes a decision, words are exchanged, everyone is wounded and in pain; a person walks away and is gone from your life. A church turned its back on us, people avoided us, awkward conversations were common, others "judged" our actions, old friends and acquaintances faded away from our lives. Death would have been easier to deal with - it's an honest observation - because people would have supported us and shown compassion toward our family. A highly respected person in our life told our oldest son, "she's a prodigal now and we need to pray for her to return." The last words we heard from him... Those left behind tried to pick up the pieces. Life wasn't the same any more. Holiday celebrations were a struggle (and continue to be). We existed together; the pain too difficult for any of us to deal with. A wedding occurred. Blaine and I attended, as well as Blaine's parents and one of his brothers - but no other family. A precious child so close was now nearly a stranger and all the dreams that had been shared....gone. I've learned how painful it is to live with a broken heart.

And the days, weeks and months passed and there was life each day. Many difficult days and yet a future hope to look forward to ~ graduations and another wedding Father's Day 2010. We rejoiced over these happy occasions. My energy poured into preparations. A whirlwind 2 weeks filled with graduation celebrations and then the wedding (plus the wedding of a precious friend).

JOY! It was a good thing and our hearts needed it.

Soon though, our married child seemed frustrated with his bride. It wasn't going as he had expected, but he tried to make the best of it; giving her room to grow and adjust. For months, something didn't seem right, but he continued on. February brought news that she returned home. It's a long and complicated story. Then, a decision to end the 7 month old marriage. Pain, ALOT of pain and the question surfaced again and again and again. Why?

Why our family?
Why do we continually go through this painful journey? When will we experience true joy?
Why?
Why?
Why?

And, this time around - there really weren't people around us anymore to talk to; just us. And, more people left our lives. For 2 years, our life has been in limbo. We've been stuck in grief that just continues on and on. Everything that's been important in my life has "slipped through my fingers" ~ family, church, ministry, volunteering, people... There were times that Blaine and I wondered if we could get through this. With God's grace and holding onto our faith, we've grown closer than ever before and it's opened a path of healing in both of our lives.

Yes, I can now look back and be THANKFUL for all that's happened. I've discovered that my hurt and pain go back years and years. I have much to work through. My naturopath in 2009 determined that she didn't want to treat me anymore. I was left wandering for months trying to find a new health care provider and finally, God answered prayer in a way I couldn't imagine. A naturopath in my neighborhood, a healer ~ and I came to her completely broken, but thankfully not destroyed. The past few months have been extremely difficult as I re-discover my past and learn how events and people have contributed to my health challenges. Dr. Jones has shared different techniques to assist my body in healing and we are taking little steps regularly - some overwhelmingly difficult and others a little easier, but I am moving forward. And, we are making progress in reconnecting with our child who is far away... This is a happy thought! And, through it all my Savior has not failed me. Unending patience and amazing love.

I'm also learning to really let go of our adult children. A HUGE challenge for me! I love them more than words can describe, but the choices they make no longer have anything to do with me. And, while Blaine and I must hold to our faith and convictions - we are learning to love them for who they are; where they're at and pray for God's will to be done in their lives. We are also learning to build our lives together; Blaine and I. Everything has been about family and we had lost connection between the two of us. Today, our choices are about us, our future and our daily lives together. Some days, it's still really difficult to make choices which benefit us. We are always thinking of the needs of our children. It takes focused effort and is sometimes quite painful. Recently, we decided to purchase a 2011 Subaru Forester and new bicycles and a bike rack for our vehicle. A major financial investment, but something Blaine and I really wanted to do together; for us...

I have ALWAYS worried about what others think of me. This has kept me in captivity; living in fear. Not a healthy place to be. As I began standing up for myself over the past 2 years, I discovered judgment from others and though painful, I knew people needed to be let go from our lives. And, it's not all about "others", for I know I am a work in progress; that I have many issues to deal with and for healing to occur. It's going to take a long time. But, I have to walk this healing journey. I need to learn from the past, learn how to make different choices in how I deal with certain situations and learn to value myself, while building compassion and unconditional love for others. Lord, I pray you give me enough time to accomplish this great goal in my life. What a HUGE challenge ahead for me! But, I'm done being held captive. Done living in fear. Done being controlled by my past. Done with allowing the choices others make to affect my life as they have in the past.

So we've arrived at this weekend ~ a difficult time; a painful season. This weekend, two of my friends have children getting married. I declined the invitation to one wedding and didn't receive an invitation to the other. This is their time of joy; their time of celebrating and I am exceedingly happy for both families! I'm just not ready to embrace these celebrations... yet, but one day I shall.

There is healing available to every person. Have faith. Take a step. Reach out!

We all have a story to share with others. We have all experienced life's up and downs; sorrows and joys. It's my journey and I know I shall rise..., because He is faithful!